Texting / Shawn Mendes

Airport & kisses.

The thought that he's hiding something from me kept me awake for one more night. I'm getting used to the lack of sleep and not talking about what I feel with him. Last night, I came back to my room after midnight. I had a shower, I layed in bed and watched tv until the sun replaced the moon.

At 8 a.m Shawn texted me saying that he's driving Emily to the airport. I had mixed emotions for her sudden decision to leave since I was actually willing to get to know her. Having a weird feeling that morning I made some tea trying to calm my nerves. I had a terrible headache so I splashed cold water all over my face. I stared at my reflection at the mirror and it was almost impossible for me to recognise myself. Messy hair, dark circles under my tired eyes and a long stained shirt covered most of my body.

I got in the shower and put my face under the water.
For a minute I let the water run down my face and body hoping that it will take away the bad thoughts that kept messing up my mind.

I trust him, I do trust him but why do I keep thinking about them together.

2 hours pass by but Shawn is no where to be seen. We were supposed to go out for lunch. I text him but he never texted back. I scroll down my instagram feed until I see it. Written in capital letters: " Breaking news: Shawn Mendes kissing his gf at the airport. Emotional goodbye."

I lock my phone, and close my eyes tightly trying to remove from my mind the picture that was beneath the article. His hand placed on her hips and hers placed on his neck. Their lips crushed on each other. I can only see the side of Shawn's face but I know it's him. He's wearing the same clothes that he was wearing last night when he came to my room and we talked about our relationship, when we said that we will work it out and when he ensured me that Emily is just a friend to him. My heart drops and I can feel the tears falling down my face. I feel betrayed and lost in thoughts as I take my suitcade and leave the room. Andrew sees me but as soon as his eyes meet my face, he looks away. I am wearing my sunglasses trying to cover my watery eyes. I'm watching him taking his phone out of his pocket and texting fast. I know who he is texting to, so I'm walking faster outside of that hotel. I take a taxi and enjoy my ride to the airport.

I book a flight to Florida and sit on the waiting room waiting for my flight. I can stay at my aunt's house and go back to Canada in a few weeks since I'm not emotionally neither physically ready to see my parents again and explain them what happened.

I am in the same airport where the picture of them kissing was taken hours ago. I hear a few screams and giggles coming from behind me and I turn around. Shawn and Andrew are surrounded by a couple fans but Shawn keeps his gaze away from them. He is searching the room with his worried eyes so I take my suitcase and start walking away before his eyes manage to spot me. I can listen to him calling my name but I don't stop. Not this time.
I continue my way to my gate and curse underneath my breath when I realize that my flight is in 3 hours. I am looking around in panic in order to find a place to "hide" from him but I give up as soon as I see him walking towards me with a fast pace. Andrew isn't with him anymore.

I'm staring at the floor until he says to me: "Where are you going?"

I look up and see a sad expression painting his face. I almost said that I'm not going anywhere. But I had to stop myself...

"I'm leaving Shawn." No emotion as the words leave my mouth.

"Things aren't always as they seem." He says calmly.

"Then let me know the truth. I'll be more than happy to listen."

"Not here Malia."

"Here looks perfect to me. Just say it."

"She kissed me. I would never do this to you, you know that..."

"Too bad I don't believe you."
His eyes open in surprise.

"How could I? After all these videos and the pictures of you two kissing, all over the internet? How can I believe that you didn't like it? That you didn't want her to kiss you when your lips were connected for at least 15 seconds? I can tell that you probably enjoyed it too."

"Please don't go." His voice breaking at the end.

"I'm sorry but I need space. I don't think that my presence is necessary or even needed anymore. You need to set your mind straight and think what you want and what you don't need anymore. Don't even try to convince me that you know what you want because your eyes don't look at me the way they used to and I know that you are not even sure how you feel anymore. Take your time and I'll be waiting for you."

His hands wrap around me but I stay still and I close my eyes tightly. He places a few kisses on my forehead and I can feel my eyes getting watery again. A few tears fall down my cheek when I open my eyes. A flash goes off and I'm trying to remove myself from him but his hands pull me closer to his chest.
"Please take care of yourself." I whisper at his ear when he lets me go.

"You too. Text me when you land." His fingers wipe the tears that are falling down my cheeck.

"Shawn.."

"Please."

"Bye Shawn."

"Wait." He said and I turned around.

"What is it?"

"Can I please kiss you?"

A few seconds pass by but my face stayed still and my mouth closed. Kiss me? I want to feel his soft lips against mine for one more time but..

"It's not a good idea."

"Sounds good to me."

"Bye Shawn."

He keeps his eyes on the floor and when he looks up I feel my heart breaking a little at the sight of him crying. He rubs his eyes and looks at me sad. I turn around... I can't see him crying... I don't want to see him like this again. Never.

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So sorry for the late update. Hope you enjoy it and let me know your thoughts about the story.

Thanks for reading. 💜

P.s Again. I know that picture is old but wtvr.