Texting / Shawn Mendes

feelings and overreacting

I feel betrayed and disappointed but I decided to stop walking. When things get hard you should not run away but stay there and face them. Right? My eyes are full of tears when he gently turns me around.

He stares deep in my eyes for a while and his mouth parts and he seems that he's about to say something but he quickly shout it again.

"Why?"

"I-I wanted you to like my personality, not my fame. I-I didn't know how to tell you Malia. You're important to me okay? I wanted you to know but how could I tell you who I am. You would think that I'm joking and you wouldn't believe me until I send you a picture or something. I'd rather to see your reaction when we are face to face so I could memorize your expression and try to address your thoughts. You need to.."

I cut him.

"We've been talking for 6 months Shawn. When that gossip about me spread in my school, I couldn't stand the attention and I bacame homeschooled. You were the first that found out about it and I thought that it was crystal clear that I'm not a fan of attention. I thought you were honest. You were afraid that I would use you for fame? That's the dumbest excuse that you could think of. You wanted to see my reaction? Really? Do you like my reaction Shawn? Do you enjoy it? I thought you were honest Shawn. You know me for 6 months now. We've talked too many times on the phone and I thought that we had something special. But what's really special is that I was such a fool to believe that you trusted me as much as I did. I guess I was wrong. You have no idea how I feel right now Shawn.."

"Then let me know."

"Sad. Sad because I've shared too many information about me, about my family, about my fears, about my feelings, with a person who didn't even tell me his real name. It's sad to see that you're important to me but I'm not to you. I know that I'm overreacting but you are my only friend. That's not fair. We have a one-sided friendship."

He comes closer to me and he gently touches my cheek. His touch makes me feel... I can't even explain it...It's so strange. Such an unusual emotion to have just by someone's touch. He slowly wipe off my tears and stare deep in my eyes. My heart is beating like crazy and I can't feel my limbs. I close my eyes and I take a deep breath. When I open them again his face is inches away from mine.

"Let me fix this" he says gently and his arm goes around my waist and he starts walkind down Andeilane street.

He has sunglasses and a hat on in order to avoid attention. People are staring at us and I whisper to his ear: "I think we should go. People are staring"

"I need to call my uber"

"You don't have to. I have a car"

"Aren't you 16?"

"Yeah but you're 18 so it's fine."

"Actually it's-"

"Not now"

We turned around and walked back to my car.

"So.. Where are we going?" I asked.

"I know a place"
And I started driving..