Texting / Shawn Mendes

Beach and talks

Living with my aunt and my cousins is defenitely something different. Big family, so much noise all the time and no personal space are so unfamiliar to me. Growing up with my parents that I barely see during the day and spend some time with them mostly at nights, I am used on spending a lot of time studying by myself with no distractions. The good thing is that I managed to sleep a lot more and I already feel more energetic and productive.

My cousins somehow managed to convince me that spending our evening at the beach is a really nice idea and right now we are on our way at the nearest beach. I am wearing my black bikini underneath my floral summer dress and the sunglasses that Shawn gave me a while ago. Pathetic, I know but I'd been lying if I said that I don't think about him all the time and wearing those glasses make me feel closer to him.

When we finally arrived, I had a weird feeling but I decided to ignore it and enjoy my time at the beach. We found a spot and I immediately started reading my favourite novel while my older cousin was sunbathing. The younger ones were playing with the sand next to me. The calmness of the waves and the cool summer breeze made me relax and forget about everything that kept my mind busy during the last week.

A small crowd is formed at my right and a loud scream escapes from a girl's mouth who is now blushing and smiling embarassed.
Me and my cousin, Emma, look at each other confused.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"Let's find out."
She walks towards the crowd and comes back disappointed.

"Oh it's Shawn Mendes."

"What?!" My eyes are wide open with shock.

"Do you know him?"

"Oh." Is all I manage to say.

Shawn runs past me and gets in the water. I stare down at my book, not knowing what else to do. Should I leave? What am I supposed to say to my cousins?
I decide to not let my anxiety take all over me and think reasonably. He's probably going to leave soon and he won't even notice me.

Emma's voice brings me back to reality.

"Why is he walking towards us?"

"Who?" I said and looked up from my book. Shawn is standing in front of me smiling. Oh no.

He stretches out his hand for me to take it while his eyes are staring at me with an adorable smile .
I sighed and connected my hand with his so he could help me stand on my feet.

"I'll be right back." I say to my cousin who is looking at me as if I had three heads.

We walk down the beach where no one is and we sit on the sand.
He is staring at me but I keep my gaze at the sunset.

"How are you?"

"I've been better."

"What's wrong?"

"There is nothing wrong. I just feel... I don't even know how I feel to be honest. What about you?"

"Tour isn't the same without you."

"That's not true. You still do great every night and you always have a good show for every city. Nothing has changed."

"I miss you."

"So... did you think about it?"

"I've never stopped thinking to be honest. Sleeping is getting hard for me. Malia... I know that I hurt you but no one is hurting as much as I do because the thought of you crying is still haunting me everytime I close my eyes. Your watery eyes and the disappointment across your face will never fade away from my mind and it truly breaks my heart." He takes a deep breath and he continues. "I'm so sorry. I trully am. I don't know what I'm supposed to do to make it up to you."

"Shawn... I still have this feeling that we move way too fast. I mean you don't even know when my birthday is, do you?"

His hand is playing with the sand and a sad expression replaces his hopeful one.

"No I don't but I know that what I feel for you is real. "

"How can you say this after what happened? You can't have feelings for two people at the same time."

"I don't have feelings for her Malia! It was just a stupid kiss! I hugged her and as I was about to let go, she kissed me. I was shocked and I didn't know what to do until she removed her lips from mine, she mumbled a sorry and left. We haven't even talked since then."

"Then why didn't you come and said it to me yourself and I had to find out from the internet? Why didn't you come and tell me that it meant nothing to you instead of hiding in your hotel room, ignoring my texts and my calls? If you feel guilty is probably because you enjoyed it."

"I feel guilty because... I knew she had feelings for me... she told me a month ago but I told her that I'm with someone else so we decided to stay friends. Days later, after our small conversation, she begged me to come on tour with me and I said yes. I was planning on telling you during our flight but you ignored me so I stayed silent. I was talking about you all the time and I thought that it was crystal clear that I'm not interested but she kissed me anyway. "

I stayed silent and let everything sink in.

"Please say something." He says when I don't reply.

"I really don't know what to think or say to you. "

"Okay. Then answer this. Are you coming back on tour with me? I promise I'll make it up to you for all the wasted time. I'll even convince Andrew to let you come at the shows with me and if you don't want people to get suspicious about us, I'll introduce you as my new assistant. Just please come back."

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So sorry for the late update. 😏