24.07.17
17:40
"he was hers, but she was never his." - unrequited love.
17:46
"you toy with my feelings,
you tug on my heartstrings." - mercy
26.07.17
09:18
"you hit me harder than,
ecstasy.
your love has me,
intoxicated.
because you are my,
addiction." - cause baby i'm addicted to you.
28.07.17
18:40
"grocery shopping, walks in the park, childhood board games, pissing about in a friends room, pub trips, library dates, museum trips, music listening sessions that end up turning into full on sessions, shitty card games, movies in bed, spontaneous nights out. all of them i miss and i miss doing them with you, my friends." - it's the little things.
29.07.17
23:52
you make my head spin. you perplex me. the little things you do. the little things you don't do. they all have me feeling some strange kind of wonderful that i don't know what to do with it. i don't know how to tell you about it, just in case i lose you.
03.08.17
13:52
"I hate the fact that you make my stomach tie in knots.
I hate the fact that you are always on my mind.
I hate the fact that that song instantly reminds me of you.
I hate the fact that all I want to do is waste all of my time with you.
I hate the fact that you are the one feeling I can't shake.
I hate the fact I don't hate you." - hate = love.
04.08.17
00:00
Feelings.
Those pesky little things. I find myself being asked by others, 'how do you tell some one the way you feel about them.' I offer my advice based on analysis of the individuals and their situation. Yet, I have never done it myself.
Why?
Because I am one shy, nervous as fuck individual. Like how do you even approach telling another human being that you like them, romantically? Ew, that word makes me cringe. Like, when do you do it? where do you do it? how do you do it? do you just tell them or do you write them a note? These are the questions I have unanswered. I think the scariest thing is if you say it and there's no reaction. Like I've just gone and exposed myself to you and you're just stood there, like alright mate I'll just leave now and cry in some corner in the fetal position.
I don't know why I am rambling like this, it's just something that's always perplexed me and has lately been resting on my mind. How do humans express their feelings to each other? It would be so much easier if we were like animals, like dogs. It reminds me of the Watsky lyric, 'even all the dogs I see clicking so terrific, picking out their favourite puppy's ass to sniff and stick in with it.'
06.07.17
21:20
I want to tell you, believe me I do.
But, I don't know how to.
Well, Maisie, we both know that's a lie, you do know how to. You are just too afraid to do so.
You are not wrong there, it's true I do. I am afraid of telling you because it will change everything. It could change everything for the better, it could go so splendidly well and I could end up being so much happier. It would be like a weight lifted off of my shoulders. But, it could also go so terribly, I could have misinterpreted all the signals and then I will have well and truly fucked myself over.
I am also afraid of what you might or might not say back. I'm afraid of...
exposing my heart.
The thought of having to say the words out loud causes my stomach to knot bringing on the worst bout of nerves. It's like high school again and having to speak in front of the whole class. It's those four words, those four fucking stupid words.
I like, like you.
21:46
"self-doubt is my worst enemy.
overthinking is my personal antagonist." - i am the creator of my own destruction.
22:03
I love the way you make you make me smile. I love the way you make me laugh at the littlest things. I love the way you remember the small details about me that even I forget I have shared with you. I love the way you laugh at me and make me laugh at myself. I love the way those songs make me think of the times spent with you. Damn you, damn you for making me feel like this.
Note
I have no idea where all this soppyness is coming from, but alas it has manifested itself into words and they are here for you to read, enjoy/hate. The song that goes with this is I Love You, I Love You. It's Disgusting. by Broadside, I just can't stop listening to it, so I'm going to share it with you guys.
Enjoy,
Saff x
YOU ARE READING
Maisie's Diary
Poetryit's as simple as the title. i'm maisie these are my thoughts and feelings, a lot of feelings. a window in my soul and the key to my heart. it's yours once you turn to the first page.
