Project: Karma

64 | The Spirit Of Him

<Nagisa>
"Hey Karma, have you ever wondered what life would be like outside of these wall?" 

I watched him carefully as he scratched his fire red hair. He swung his legs as he sat on the white bed and sighed. I could see that Karma had thought about this idea before but, I guess he wasn't really thinking about it at all.

"I've never obsessed over it." He responded casually. Karma walked over to the wall and sat down on the green grass bed. He crossed his legs and leaned over with his elbows on his thighs.
"But I would like to live that life." He added with a blissful gleam, "will you take me there?"

I knew that some place in the world, Karma was created for a reason. Not to kill but, to love. It's wonders that just incorporating emotions into a body of metal and violence, could change the entirely of something.

"Well, that's quite hard at the moment." I giggled, flipping through the pages of the Project Karma manuel. I'm quite fascinated altogether really, this creation of Koro-sensei's talent and skill.

"I can't promise you total freedom but for now I'll tell you about the life outside this glass dome. Maybe then one day, you'll see it for yourself." I explained.

Karma didn't even bat an eye when he decided on his offer. He obediently nodded his head like a loyal dog and smiled.

"I don't mind. If you can fill me in on what I'm missing, I'll look forward to it when I can leave." He spoke. "I want you to be the one, who shows me."

<Nagisa>
When I finally woke up this morning, the dream I had during the night began to whither away the more I thought about it. That conversation I had with Karma, when was that again? Was it really something that actually happened or was it just a dream? To me, this frightened me. Will all my memories of Karma eventually fade away? Will I remember any of it?

I sat up straight and leaned against the board of the bed and laying beside me was my little Nakaru. Oh right, I had fallen ill the day before didn't I? There was a white towel on the wooden floor that I just noticed, plus the empty glass on the nightstand.
Nakaru stayed with me all night, how heartwarming all of this was. I reached out my hand and stroked his hair.

"Momma was quite troublesome, wasn't she?" I softly asked while he was still sleeping. "Sorry Nakaru." I apologized. I didn't want to get out of bed, even though I wasn't sickly anymore. I relaxed and let all my worries escape me, as I stared at the white ceiling.

Last night was unsightly wasn't it? I showed a side of me, that I never wanted Nakaru to see. I looked over back at him and sighed. Maybe it was time to confess everything to Nakaru. I've been partially leaving so many things out, that maybe that's why he has a negative attraction to Karma, at least when I talk about him.

It's my fault Nakaru doesn't seem to like Karma. I've been the one hiding away these precious memories of mine because, I was afraid that I would break.

"Momma? You awake now?" Nakaru rubbed his eyes and cuddled my arm. "Are you still sick?" He placed his hand on my forehead and waited. "Does Momma still hurt?" He asked.

What a gentle child.
"I'm okay now, thank you for taking care of me Nakaru." I kissed his cheeks. Nakaru brightened and kissed me back.

I think it's time that Nakaru knows the life Karma and I shared. For his sake and mine.

"Nakaru, I want to tell you stories about Papa." I said. Right away Nakaru frowned and inched away. I playfully brought him back into my arms and hummed a tune.

"You'll understand when you're older but, for now, please listen to Momma, okay?" I rubbed my nose against his.

"Okay Momma." He replied.

Ah...where do I start?

"I worked with Papa when I was in my second year of high school. Koro-sensei gave me a job at his facility and that where Karma and I saw each other for the second time."

"Where was the first time you met Papa?"

"When Momma was very very little, she met Papa while she was shopping with your grandparents. He was a nice little boy to Momma because Momma got lost and was very clumsy." I explained.

Nakaru nodded his head and I continued.
"There was one thing that was weird for me when I met Papa. Momma was normal and Papa was not. Papa was barely living at all."
Nakaru tilted his head.

"Was Papa dying?"

"No, Papa was just not the same as us. When you're older, we'll explain it again, okay?"

"Yes Momma."

I continued on and the more I talked about the life I had with Karma before he was born, Nakaru was rather interested.
I've never seen the giggled or sparks of amazement from him before, as I talked about Karma the way I did. Nakaru was understanding the fact that Karma was pure hearted and down to earth.

"Momma fell in love with Papa and I think Papa did too at one point. Both of us were happy and nothing could tear our love apart."

Nakaru somehow grew wearily distant as I said that.
"Don't get me wrong, Papa really tried his best to keep Momma happy. He did so well he had to leave me. Papa loved me too much that he is gone now." I rubbed Nakaru's cheek. "Papa died a long time ago that is why Papa is not here anymore."

Despite the fact that I just said that, my heart was still in one piece. Nakaru held my hand tightly and I could see his eyes welling up. Was he sad because of what I've gone through, or the fact that he'll never have a Papa by his side?

"But one thing he said before he died was that he wanted to protect you Nakaru. Papa knew that you were in Momma's tummy. So before Papa left us, he was protecting the both of us."

In the moment, I felt like Nakaru finally understood and took the time to understand it all. For me I felt like this was too much for him at such a fragile age but, I didn't want him to dislike Karma all his life.

"Papa loved both of us Nakaru, he really did." I lovingly embraced Nakaru and he cried quietly like a mouse in my arms. I kissed his head and didn't let go. Nakaru doesn't deserve this kind of life but, I want him to understand the struggles that brought the both of us here.
•••••••
When we finally managed out of bed, I took my wheelchair and rolled into the kitchen with Nakaru to make breakfast.

While Nakaru was mixing the batter for pancakes, I was preparing the bacon and eggs. I don't know where he got it from but, he had a liking to western style meals.
Suddenly I heard the ringing of the front door. Both Nakaru and I looked up and I could see the sticky batter on his hands.

"You wash up, I'll answer the door." I turned off the stove and rolled my wheelchair into the main hall as the front door bell kept ringing.

"Coming, coming." I hollered out.

When I opened the door. The world around me automatically froze. When I thought my heart had finally became iron from all the cruel blows. It shattered without warning.

I'm scared. Is this a dream? The man standing before me. It's all a lie. I rolled back and suspected that I was losing control of my mind again. But he reached for my arm.

"Nagisa."