Project: Karma

46 | Under the Stars

<Shizuka>
With my new assistant in Project Karma, it's not the same feel when Nagisa was here. He's quite tall actually, like Koro-sensei. His blond silvery white hair and crystal blue eyes.

"Ms. Shizuka, when I was in there, I noticed something odd about him." He took off his suit and placed them on the long table.

"What is it?" I asked crossing my arms.

"Karma seems to be missing a memory chip." He said, "is he not given a functional brain of his own?"

Ah, that. Well, I could explain it all to you right now but, That's all in the past.

"Yes, there was some malfunctions. He's alright with a memory chip. He'll be programmed without a mind of his own." I spoke.

"Is there a reason why he doesn't have one? Compared to the others-"

"Stop." I interrupted him. Realizing how rude I was to begin with. Why does it pester me so much?

"Sorry." I apologized.

"No, it's my fault for annoying you." He scratched the back of his head. "I'll be heading out now." Naoko took his brown messenger bag and headed to his meeting.

The lab door shut and I let out a roar of a sigh. It's weird, it's not the same! Damn, each time a new advisor notices that Karma doesn't have a memory chip, it gets to me. Now Naoko must think I'm a rude ass woman. I guess that's another one, asking to resign into another department. That will be the 3rd one this month.

I walked over to the dome and saw how Karma was distant from the glass. Very much like before. I stared in and saw how lonely he looked. How mindless he was. I wish I could tell him that Nagisa will be back for him.

"Karma, I know you can't hear me but, you remember Nagisa right?"

My own brain was cutting between reality and imagination. I know that he can't hear me.

"She's doing everything she can to bring back you're memories, all of them. You'll wait for her right? She still loves you and you must still love her right?

I found the bridge that held the three of us together, to have snapped and collapsed into the waters. With only a few wooden planks to hold onto. Most of us didn't survive.

"Ah, Ms. Shizuka?"

I abruptly turned around to notice that Naoko was behind me all this time. Did he hear all of it?

"Y-you scared me there." I placed my hand on the table for support. "What do you need?"

"I forgot my laptop, that's all." He walked past me and grabbed it, placing it under his armpit.

"Alright, off you go." I waved my hand.

"Ms. Shizuka, are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" I questioned.

Naoko looked away and then back into my gaze.

"Ms. Shizuka, you're crying."

I took my fingers and lightly traced it beneath my left eye. He was right. I'm crying but, why? Does not having the three of us together anymore, hurt me to this extent?

Before I always thought that Nagisa was crazy with her own passion. I never realized how our time together actually shaped my heart with the same passion. Karma's journey to becoming human once more.

Did I really forget that dream?
••••••
<Nagisa>
Koro-sensei is making rounds around the facility and Irina is making copies. I'm alone here in the lab. Alone with Death. I didn't feel too well, these headaches and soreness. Maybe I'm just nervous.
I managed to finish up my report early and found myself with a lot of time on my hands. I shouldn't slack off either way but, what could I do?

Whenever I finished my work early, I would talk to Karma and all that fun stuff. However I can't do that anymore. I laid my head on the desk and tuned into the sound of the air conditioner rapping away. The icy cool touch on my naked arms. I lay there waiting for something grand to happen.

"Nagisa."

I poked my head up and looked around. No one. Was it just me or did something call my name? I must be losing it.

"Nagisa."

Then I heard that the voice came from the blackened dome. It was Death. I slowly raised from my chair and walked over to him. I placed my ear on the dome and listened.

"How are you Nagisa?" He asked.

"Good." I replied. "Need something?"

There was a slight pause.

"No, just wanted some company." He spoke.

"How did you know I was in here?"

"I can tell by the vibrations of your footsteps. They never left the lab yet." He explained.

Interesting, I wonder if Karma had the capability of doing that too. Wait. All this time I've been paranoid of Death. Was it all in my head?

"Nagisa, may I ask you something?"

"Sure." I looked directly at the glass, even though I couldn't see in.

"Back when you trespassed into the archives. Tell me why you entered willingly."

He was the one. That's how Koro-sensei found out. Is that even possible? He's been the one watching me. I swallowed back.

"That's none of you're business." I replied.

"Of course, it's not." He chuckled, "but Nagisa, isn't it too dangerous to poke your nose into things you shouldn't be doing?"

He sounded like the rest of them. The ones who deprived me from my research and passion for Karma. In the end, they wouldn't understand.

"How?"

"How? Well as you can tell, I'm Death. Everything and everyone are my pawns. They just don't know it. I call it a game. Once I get the get out of jail card, it's all over. Would you like to play with me?"

I inched back away. Never mind, I think I'll just stay on my side for now. I don't want to deal with that creep. Nope, not a chance.

"Love is just like stars you know."

I turned around. What?

"Once stars are too old, they explode. Perish. What you're obsessing over, is nothing but a mere essence of vacancy. You don't need it, but you want it." He went on.

"No, it's not like that." I didn't know why I was exposing myself to him.

Stars are indeed like love. At night they're there. In the morning you can't see them, but they're there. There is no streaming love in Death, no empathy. Nothing.

"Why have love, when you can have death?"
That last remark spooked me suddenly. What did he mean by that? In literal terms? Is he teasing me? If that's the case, it's not funny.

"Nagisa, the world is evil. Sometimes the ones you trust, are just as bad as me."