Agent Kelly Tomlinson

Thirty Five

The drive back to my apartment was silent. I think both me and Louis were going over the past events in our heads but the biggest thing being the reveal about mine and Harry's relationship. I still don't know the details about it or how Louis noticed, but I was nervous to hear what he had to say. There was no way in hell that he was going to approve of it.

Louis parked the car in the lot and killed the engine. The two of us sat there in silence, almost challenging the other to speak first.

"I think you're right." I said. My voice is scratchy from feeling under the weather. "I do turn to drinking when I have something in my head that I want to forget."

Louis shook his head. "In all honesty Kelly, I would drink myself to death too if I had found out that my best friend had been killed."

Being reminded of Marco felt like being stabbed in the heart. I just wanted to hear his laugh one more time. Drink martinis on Martini Monday's at the local bar, a tradition we had at least once a month. Now, I would never go back there.

I didn't speak. Afraid that if I did, I would break down in tears.

"I know Harry told you that I know about the two of you sneaking around." Louis said. I nodded. "Well you know what I'm going to say, right?" I nodded again. "You're going to break his heart, Kelly."

"I know." I whispered. I felt like I was being crushed under a hard rock. The rock being weighed down with guilt. "But I like him so much that I can't pull myself away. I've tried. I've tried so hard to convince myself that I don't like him. That I'm using him or something." I shook my head. "But it's not true."

I couldn't imagine giving up the feeling of Harry's lips on mine, or his hand in my mine, or hearing the way he laughs, or watching him blush when you compliment him sweetly. I would miss the butterflies that flew in my stomach every time he kissed me. I would miss waking up to morning texts from him. But mostly, I would just miss him being around. He always made my day better when we hung out.

"When I first realized that the two of you were sneaking around and doing things that only friends shouldn't be doing, I was about ready to lose it. Luckily, Eleanor was there and was able to calm me down. I was ready to sock Harry in the face for touching my sister."

I couldn't help but laugh. Even knowing about all the other dangerous stunts I have been through, Louis still got worked up over me being with a boy.

"But you couldn't cause I'm not your sister." I pointed out. Remind me to thank Eleanor later.

"It doesn't matter. Even in the beginning I told Harry not to look at you like that. Like someone he could get away with having a one night stand."

"But it's more than that Louis." I tried convincing him. I thought about what Monique said to me yesterday. How she was so sure that I was in love with Harry. Then she started listing off all these questions, and every answer I had pointed me in the direction of love. The thought absolutely petrified me. Love is a scary thing. It can make your entire world, but it can also break it, leaving it unable to be fixed. I don't mess around with that word. "I think I'm in love with him." I admitted.

I looked out my window to avoid Louis's expression. I didn't want to see him look disappointed after using the big L word. I wasn't going to take it back despite Louis disagreeing with my feelings. At least when I looked away, I could picture Louis being happy for me in my imagination.

However, what Louis said next shocked me. "I know." My head whipped around. Unlike what I thought, Louis's expression was soft and understanding. Not the least surprised that I had just used one of the scariest words in the dictionary to describe Harry, his best mate.