~9th September~
Your POV
"You're sure about this?"
"Of course I am. You should spend time with your friends. And you really don't need to ask for my permission, Y/N."
"Thanks, Jase! I love you!" I beam.
"Yep." He replies. "I've got to go. Bye. Have fun."
"Bye." I wave at the computer screen as he hangs up and disappears. I squeal and run out to the living room where I last saw Tess. I enter and see her sitting on the couch watching anime with the boys.
"Yes, Y/N? Do you need help packing?" She asks with her eyes glues to the TV.
"No," I reply with a large grin. "Because I'm staying for a bit longer." All three of them turn towards me, their lips curling into a smile.
"What? Really?" Dan voice is laced with excitement. I nod and he jumps off the couch and pulls me into a giant hug.
"Yes!" My voice is muffled by his chest.
"For how long?" Phil joins the conversation.
"I'm staying for Alfie's birthday, so maybe until the twentieth."
"Well, I think this means some pizza is needed," Tess grins as she grabs her phone.
~Time skip~
The night had been amazing. We ate greasy pizza, drank some amazing soda, talked about the stupidest things and watched movie after movie after movie. It felt just like being a kid again and having sleepovers with my best friends, before we learned the cruelties of life.
"Well, Y/N, if you're gonna stay I can't just treat you as a guest," Tess speaks over the sound of the sorting hat about to tell Harry his house on the television.
"Meaning?"
"Well, if this is going to be your temporary home, you need to take some responsibility."
"Tess~" I groan.
"Your first duty: wash the dishes."
~Trigger Warning~
My whole body tenses. What do I do?
"Can't you do it? I'll clean up the whole house tomorrow, I promise, just-"
"Y/N! You sound like a child. Just do it! We'll pause the movie for you."
I gulp and stand up, my legs shaking.
"I'll help." Dan begins to rise before being dragged back down by Tess.
"She's a big girl, she can do it."
I force a smile as I grab he dirty plates and cups, then leave the living room. Never has the kitchen seemed so far away in this small apartment. I take my steps carefully, in fear I'll fall. My chest tightens with every step I take. I make it to the kitchen, but the worst is yet to come: going in.
I open the glass door and step in. And there it is. I try to look away as much as possible, but the panic has already begun. I shuffle towards it and dump my collection of dishes next to the sink. I know I have to turn it on now.
I look at it and reach out for the tap to turn it on. But instead of seeing me twist a tap and water flowing out of it, I see a rope in my hand, trying to tie it around the tap. My breathing quickens as I feel the itchy material wrapped tightly around my neck. I let out a scream and sink to the ground, bursting into tears.
"Y/N?" I hear someone rush into the room. I already know who it is. "Y/N, what happened?"
I don't answer. All I can let out is a whimper and another scream.
"Dan, what's going on?" Tess is in the room now.
"I don't know," he replies, sounding panicked. "Call Jase or Mark. Maybe they can help. I'll calm her down." He scoops me up and holds me close. I rest my head against his chest, my tears soaking his t-shirt. He walks out of the room and into another room - my room. He softly puts me down on my bed and lays down next to me, pulling me close to him. "Everything's okay. You're safe." I shake my head. "You're going to be okay."
"Jase won't answer," Tess's voice comes from the doorway. "I'll try Mark." The door shuts and it's just me and Dan.
"I'm sorry," I whimper.
"What?"
"I said I'm sorry," I repeat, louder.
"For what?"
Tell him, Y/N. He needs to know. I wipe my eyes and take a few deep breaths.
"I didn't want to live without you so I-" I'm cut off by more sobbing. Dan rubs my back comfortingly. "-so I tried to kill myself." I feel Dan's body tense. The room somehow seems more quiet now and the atmosphere is chilling.
"Y/N... what? How?"
I tell him. Everything. I tell him about the cutting and about the day I gave up on everything. He tightens his hold on me and I feel wet drops fall on to my head.
"Never do something like that again. I couldn't live anymore if you died. Please promise you won't even think about trying that again." His voice is choked with tears.
"I promise, Dan."
We lay there crying with each other until we tire, holding each other like old times. And as I fell asleep listening to his soft breathing, I couldn't help but think about why I moved on...
