~22nd March, 2020~
As a young girl, one of the most difficult decisions on my mind was what will be my perfect wedding. More specifically, what will be my perfect wedding dress.
Did I want a mermaid dress with a high neckline and covered in jewels, a simple tea-length dress with long sleeves, a dress from a fairytale with a skirt that would take up the whole aisle, or did I want my mother's dress from the 80's with lacy sleeves and a frilly skirt?
But now, standing in my beautiful ballgown dress with a sweetheart neckline, glittery skirt and light coloured roses around the waist, I knew it was my perfect wedding dress.
"Are you ready?"
I turn around to see my mum in the door way. My eyes water as I nod. She walks over and places the flower crown with the veil attached on top of my head.
"I just wish dad was still here."
"I know, darling. He'd want you to have the best day today. I bet he's smiling down at you right now wishing he was here too." She pulls me into a comforting hug and rubs my back.
~Flashback - 17th June, 2019~
"Dan? If you're going to see Tess and Phil, can you take some of this cake over?" I stop my soon to be husband before he rushes out the door.
"How much is left over?"
"Well, you know toddlers. They eat half a slice of cake and the rest goes all over the house. We've got plenty left, Mum made a pretty big one for such a tiny boy." I pinch James' cheek and he giggles.
"Okay, I'll get it now."
As I put James down on the floor to play with all the new toys he got for his birthday, my phone rings. It's Mum.
"Hey, Mum. Did you get back safely? Sorry I haven't called, how was work?"
"Y/N, I'm really sorry." Her voice is quiet and shaky, like she's been crying.
"Why, what's wrong?"
"There was a car accident and your dad didn't make it. He's gone."
As my phone hits the kitchen bench, it's like the world stops. I can no longer hear my little boy happily playing with one of his brand new trucks, I can no longer hear the sound of the Lion King on the TV or Dan singing along to 'The Circle of Life'.
I can't move, I can't speak, I'm frozen still.
All it takes for me to break is Dan's hand on my shoulder and his soft voice asking me if I'm okay. I break into unstoppable tears, moaning in grief. Dan wraps his arms around me and hugs me tight as I bury my head into his chest, hoping that this was all just some terrible dream.
It wasn't.
~
"You're still awake?"
I sit unmoved from the position when I first came to bed.
"Y/N, please try to sleep."
"He was bringing her flowers. He saw her favourite flowers and was bringing them home to her." A tear rolls down my cheek.
"Y/N-"
"What if that happened to you? What if all I did was serve tea and biscuits to a bunch of guests like my husband dying is like another reason for a social gathering?"
"Everyone grieves differently, Y/N."
"But this is her husband, Dan! The man who's last thought was probably about how happy his wife was going to be when he came home with her favourite flowers as a surprise."
"That doesn't make her a terrible person. What she needs is to be surrounded by others. We don't all shut people out when we lose someone. She's probably sitting up in her bed thinking about it too, just like you are."
"I'm not shutting people out," I reply coldly.
"You've been ignoring everyone's calls and texts except for Alex's, you've barely said anything to me since yesterday afternoon, your own son has been crying for his mum, who's been shut up in this room, non-stop!"
I swing my legs over the edge of the bed and march towards the door. I ignore Dan and slip on a pair of shoes, not bothering to get a coat. I get in the car and speed out of the driveway and out of the street.
~
I slam the car door shut and lock it. I drag my feet as I force myself into Central Station. The last place I saw my dad.
I find the exact spot I said my last goodbye and sink to the ground, not caring what anybody thinks of me. And for the first time since I heard the news, I bawl my eyes out.
Dan's POV
"Okay, thanks mate." I hang up.
After searching for Y/N for an hour with no luck, it was a relief to hear from a friend who works at Central Station that he knew where she was.
I felt bad for dragging Phil out to look after James at one in the morning, but it was important that I find Y/N. The way she's been coping with the situation, I feared the worse.
When I finally find her, she's sitting on the ground and staring at the tracks, shaking uncontrollably. I frown, the pain of seeing her in this state is unbearable. It reminds me of the time I found out about the kitchen sink incident and all the times she'd occasionally wake up from the nightmares. I step carefully towards her and sit down beside her. It's quiet for a while, just the two of us side by side.
I feel a soft thud against my shoulder as Y/N leans her head against it. I wrap my arm around her small figure to support her. "I'm sorry," she whispers, her voice barely audible.
I rub her shoulder comfortingly. "It's okay. I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through right now."
"I just wish he was still here. He didn't even get to walk me down the isle." She breaks into a sob, and as I place a gentle kiss on the top of her head, I can't help but cry myself.
