☾home ft sm☽

Part 21

Shawn's pov
The next Morning

I wake up and my thoughts go directly to last night.

Omg shawn what did you do? Why did you kissed her, you fucking kissed your best friend.

I have screwed up. I screwed up the best thing I had in my life for one amazing night.

Why why why why why? I grab my phone and when I see my lockscreen, I picture were Ellie kisses my head and I smile big, I  throw my phone away.

He pops against the wall with a bang and falls down on the floor.

I walk sighing to the wall and grabs my phone. There are a copple cracks in now.

But i don't care. I don't care about anything right now. I only care about Ellie. About our friendship.

How can I fix this?? Why do I have to screw up the most beautiful thing I had in life.

I need to eat something. Maybe I can think better when I ate something.

Fuck I can't go down because there is a big change ell is downstairs.

What should I do now?

I still think about last night. When she told me I am her home too.

When she said than my head exploted, like ny stomach. No one can let me feel like she does.

She kissed me back. She kissed me. Why did she kissed me? Why why why?!

I'm her best friend I can't kiss her. But her lips omg. They tasted so so good. So soft but wanted at the same time.

But if she kissed me wanted does that means she loves me like I love her?

No don't be redicoulus shawn. You are her best friend and you need to fix this. Right now.

I grab my phone and walk out of my room. I close the door and knock at the one next to mine.

Ellie's pov
I wake up from a sound. I don't know what it is but I think it's form shawns room.

Shawn.....shawn, my best friend. The one I kissed last night. My best friend.

He kissed me. He kissed me and I kissed him back. What did it mean? Does he like me like I like him or was it just a kiss.

Omg we kissed. I kissed with my best friend. What does this mean for us?

Will we still be friends or will we be a couple. Will his fans likes me our hate me? Does he even love me?

Wait? I remember that moment when shawn wanted to go really fast when he thought something and didn't know what that will mean for the future.

Was he think about us? Was he thinking he loves me or he don't? Or was it about someone else i don't know about and he abreact his pain on me?

Was it a kiss to forget something bad or was it a kiss because he really loves me?

How did we come her? Why why why? I cant lose him because of a one night. A night with him under the stars.

At the place he didn't want to show anyone expect me. Maybe he planted all of this.....
Maybe he really loves me

But maybe it was just a kiss for him. Maybe it didn't mean anything to him.....

Omg he is driving me crazy. I need to know what he thinks about us. How he thinks about last night.

I need to know. Now.

I get up and walk to my door. When I open it shawn is standing there with his hand ready to knock on my door.

This isn't good. He never knocks. He always just walks in and don't care about what I'm doing. Fuck no I can't lose him.

'He ell' he starts

'Hii come in' I say soft.

'I am just gonna say it. We need to talk about last night' he says straigh

'Yea yea I thought so too' i answer

'So uhmmm last night' he begins

i loved it and i will never forget it. I think and I wish I could say it to him

'Shawn?'

'Yes ell'

'I.....i.......i..... i loved it' i whisper with wet eyes.

'I am sorry ell' he stars before I could say the part I loved it

'It was stupid i know. I will never happen again. It was just a stupid kiss and we both know. Just let forget it because I am not going to lose my best fiend because a stupid night. I love you and you love me. We are best friends and will always stay. Just forget about it and never talk about it again. We just forget it and go back to before yesterday. We act like it never happened and we tell no one. No one needs to know because it doesn't meant anything right?' He says more then askes

It was stupid. He said it. Stupid. So much. A stupid kiss, a stupid night, we were stupid. That's what he thinks about it. When someone would ask him Hey shawn how was the kiss? He would answer stupid. Stupid. I have never hate that word so much. It meant not thing to him. It was just a kiss like all the other once. And not to forget he friendzoned me forever. Forever. That's the thing. We can never be together. He will never give me a change.......

'Yes it was stupid, really stupid. It will never happen again. And no one will ever know because it doesn't meant anything. Just a kiss like all the others. We are best friends and we will stay' I answer

And that broke my heart like never before.