At the End of All Things [LotR / Legolas] Book 3

XXVI

To massively_reclusive - for an absolutely awesome comment.

After a couple of hours she had managed to push herself out of the bed and staggered towards the window. Námo hovering over her every step like a father over his toddler while Legolas walked a couple of steps behind them with his arms crossed and lips pressed into a thin line. He stayed silent however, his eyes scrutinizing her every move; her fingers curling around the windowsill as she leaned heavily on it to support her aching body.

"Ára, you cannot be serious about this," Námo suddenly blurted out, his arms too crossing over his chest as he adapted a somewhat similar stance as the elven prince.

"I cannot just linger here while they fight. The Darkling's are still here, Námo. It does not matter how much fate we put in the men and their allies," her eyes flickered towards Legolas but she did not meet his eyes; "when the Darkling's go into battle they will spare no-one and there will be none there that will be able to fight them."

"Gandalf can fight them. Aragorn and Gimli will fight them. I will fight them."

"They will need my help, Námo." She didn't even spare Legolas a glance and he could feel his own fingers curling into fists as he let his hands fall to his sides.

Námo glanced over at him for a moment, his eyes regarding Legolas' agitated form, "you have others to discuss this with than me, Ára," he said after a while, "I do not rule over Middle-Earth and though I would like to think I have always been and will always be a big part of your life there are others in your life now who has a say as well."

Ára exhaled slowly and looked down to her feet before looking back out the large window and out onto the fields of Pelenor where people were working to remove the deceased. Legolas already knew that she had made up her mind, but her words still made him close his eyes and seemingly all the air inside his lungs to disappear;

"I make my own decisions, and nothing could defend staying back here. It is not my place, I might not have been born into this world but I will still defend it to my dying breath."

Without saying anything Legolas left the room, his body so tight with anger and fear that Námo almost worried that one of his muscles would explode as he stormed out of the room. Sighing at the way the two youths were acting he turned back to the female he considered as his daughter only to see her bent forwards, her hands clasping the windowsill as her head rested on her arms, her whole body slumped together in resignation and pain.

"Is it supposed to hurt this much?" She asked after a while, her voice so low Námo could barely hear her. He knew instantly she was not speaking about her injuries and after some consideration he put a fatherly hand on her shoulder; "it was never supposed to be easy, that is why binding yourself to another being is such a big deal. Not even I am bound to Vairë."

"Why not?" She turned her head towards him and a cord in his old being was pulled as he saw the tears that were brimming in her eyes.

"Because, little one, even the best of us can be afraid of such commitment. The two of you are an inspiration to us all."

"I did not even bind myself to him properly." She snorted, "it just happened and then..." she stopped herself before straightening her body and looking him straight into the eyes as the first tears fell. "And then I lied to him about it and tore our bond apart."

As her head fell forwards and she hung her head in shame Námo stepped forwards and embraced her, pulling her head into his chest as her tears relentlessly kept flowing out of her eyes. She stood silently for a moment; her tears flowing soundlessly for several minutes before she straightened herself and wiped away her final tears.