toronto / drake

18) ease into summer

it was surreal. finding myself in the city I swore I'd never return to, by choice, heading to the house in which my last memories were crying myself to sleep. I had repressed the smiles and the laughs and the kisses, in order to push him out of my mind months ago. but now I was here, my stomach was a mess and my brain did not know what it wanted anymore.

Riding the bus was a stark difference from the fancy vehicles I'd driven these same streets in last year, with Drake. I smiled thinking of how he had become even more successful in my time not being here, and my heart was warm with pride towards him. pride, until the realisation dawned on me that more success meant less chance he would even remember me - what if he had no idea who I was? I shook my head and tried to reassured myself. I wished the bus would hurry up so I could just bite the bullet.

I also, of course, wondered if kye would be there. maybe he'd pull up as I walked to up to the house, and we'd both cry with happiness and hug eachother and continue as normal before it all went wrong - I stopped myself a little too late, and had already let my overly optimistic mind get carried away - which is really what made me come here in the first place. a chance that everything would work out just by showing my face - but now, thinking it over, it seemed more and more far fetched.

In all honesty, I didn't expect everything to be perfect right away. I expected shock, but I did hope it would be accompanied by some love, too. The bus dropped me nowhere near close and I knew from the beginning my only hope would be an Uber. Luckily Drake had introduced me to everyone, so I was able to talk my way into the gated community as one security member recognised me. He did look very confused to see me however. 

My stomach began to turn as my surroundings became more and more familiar. Sights that once made me happy were now filling me with dread; every possibility ran through my mind as my eyes squinted from the sun beaming into the window. It was a Saturday afternoon. I wondered if he'd even be home, or maybe that he'd moved houses, or even on vacation for the summer. My palms got sweatier as I choked up at the thought of my plan failing.

As we approached his private road, I noticed 5x as many cars than normal. The Uber driver pointed out they were directing cars with security and checking slips of paper.

"Here's fine, thank you." I smiled at him.

"You sure?" He looked at me, worried. I simply nodded and got out, dragging my bags behind me. I began to feel self conscious as the amount of people here dawned on me, meanwhile I looked as though I was making the last trip to move into my dorm.

I wore a black denim mini skirt with a white tank top, paired with slip on vans because they're comfy, but otherwise I had changed into this outfit at the airport. I walked closer to the front door but panicked as there were many security guards telling everyone where to go; I had not seen anyone I recognised yet, but there was no doubt in my mind - this was a Drizzy Drake pool party, and a perfect day for it too.

I attempted to walk around the side but to my regret I stumbled right into the main looking security guard, paired with the many people looking to get inside. Sadly I didn't recognise him, but he sure did notice me.

"Can I help you?" He said firmly, him and some of the straddlers eying up my luggage.

As you would imagine, I was extremely intimidated, anticipating that my voice would only come out in a squeak.

"Is... Drake here?"

He immediately scoffed.

"Ma'am, do you have an invitation, can I please see your invitation and ID?"

I must've been staring at him bugged eyed and not knowing what to say for at least 5 minutes, or so it felt like it, before I heard a voice.

"Lola?"