Never Alone

Numb

At home, Tyler showered and got ready for bed, as did Bryan. Tyler sat Indian style on his bed with notes and class work in front of him. He studied over it and heard a knock at the door. He got up, slipping a shirt on and his sweats. He walked to the door and looked out at Bryan. "Yes?" He said. "May I talk to you?" He asked. "Of course, come on." He went and cleaned the stuff off of the bed and put it on the floor neatly. They sat Indian style in front of one another. "What's up?" Tyler asked as he turned his music off that was playing on his speakers. "I'm sorry for tonight, you did not have to protect me like you did. Part of me was so proud of you for doing so. Yet, the other part, didn't like it. I don't want to depend on you to protect me, because if I do you'll end up leaving. I've been through this before." Bryan said as he pressed his hand on the side of Tyler's face.

He gently rubbed his finger across his busted lip. Tyler grabbed his hand and smiled lightly. "It's okay. I'm not going to leave you. If all you do is depend on me, then I will be here for you to do so." Bryan retreated his hand and smiled. "Your dimples are cute, and you look happier when you smile." Tyler said seriously. "Don't tell me I look good. How adorable I am. How my dimples are cute. Don't compliment me." Bryan started to sniffle. "Whoa, man, damn sorry." Tyler said, kind of confused. "Why not?" He asked. Bryan sighed. "Time for our conversation." He started. Tyler looked, kind of wide eyed, like, okay, what's this about? "I've been seriously trying lately. Not to have those thoughts. The bad thoughts. The dangerous thoughts. All of a sudden, I feel really tired of fighting it. I feel as if the world has drained me of everything I have. I'm not even sad, just sort of numb. Numb, somehow, feels worse. Way worse. I'm not even sure if I am depressed. I'm not exactly happy. I can laugh at your jokes, smile with you. Alone at night, in my room, I cannot feel a thing. I've lost hope. I feel empty, yet I kind of do feel something. Something I don't even know what the fuck it i-" he was cut off by Tyler hugging him. "Just stop." He growled. "Do not lose hope. Please, just believe that there are so many beautiful things about you. You're my sunshine, but you cannot be unless you feel the rain. Do not think you'll be stuck in this situation forever. Life is going to be happy, but it will make you strong. Understand? Let it hurt, then let it go." They hugged each other tightly.