Sons of Liberty University | Hamilton College AU

Chapter 33 - To John

(This is going to REK ALL OF YOU not sorry)

TW: Suicide, gay slurs

John

I found a note when I got home from classes one day. It was sitting on Alex's pillow, folded up nicely with my name written on it in his handwriting.

To John, my dearest:

I'm so sorry. You deserve so much better.

I love you.

- Alexander

My heart dropped into my shoes. I threw down the note and flung open the bathroom door and screamed.

There he was. Sitting in the bathtub, floating in a pool of blood, with hundreds of long slashes covering his body.

I dropped to my knees as I stared at the image before me in horror.

And then his eyes opened.

My breath got caught in my throat as he sat up and looked right at me.

There was fear in his face.

"John?" he said, panic rising in his voice. "Why are you here?"

"A-Alex," I stuttered, my hand reaching for my pocket where my phone was so I could call 911. "Y-you need help--"

"Don't you remember what you did to me?"

I froze.

He gestured to his bloody body. "Don't you remember?" he said, his voice filling with a horrible sadness. "You did this to me. I'm all your fault."

"N-no," I said, shaking. "N-no, baby, I-I swear, I didn't--"

"It doesn't matter, John," Peggy's voice said from behind me. I couldn't turn around to face her. "He's dead because of you."

"You're a faggot, Jack," I heard my father whisper in my ear. "A worthless faggot. This is all your fault."

"Why didn't you help me?" Alex's voice turned into a whisper. "Why didn't you see me?"

"I-I--"

BOOM.

~.~

"JOHN!"

My eyes shot open. Alex was on top of me, his hands planted firmly on my shoulders.

"What happened--"

I was cut off my a hug from my boyfriend, who began sobbing into my shoulder.

I held him there for a moment, comforting him, but then I remembered the dream and decided something:

I'm going to find Alex a therapist.