Sons of Liberty University | Hamilton College AU

Chapter 47 - Fragile

John

I jerked awake.

Alex was sitting up next to me, looking down at his hands. He was still and silent.

"Eleanor," he said softly. "When will we be there?"

"Pretty soon," she said. "I'd say about an hour. Why?"

"Just wondering," he responded, no emotion in his voice.

"Lexi?" I whispered, sitting up. He looked over at me.

His eyes were empty. There was no spark of intelligence in them.

They searched my face for a few moments before breaking down crying, shaking from head-to-toe. It took me by surprise, but I hugged him close to me and ran my fingers through his hair. He sobbed into my chest as I wrapped the blanket more securely around him.

"What happened?" Mom asked, worry creeping into her voice.

"Babygirl, what's wrong?" I asked gently.

"I had a nightmare," he whispered. "It was so real, he was all over me again, and he kept saying all of this stuff about you and Mom and my father and James, h-he said he would go in there and kill everyone if I didn't stop struggling, and—"

"Shh," I said softly. "It's okay, baby. I know. You don't need to tell me."

His head rested on my chest as he shook, his breathing uneven and his eyes closed.

"I hate this," he whispered, tears streaming down his face. "I hate myself for letting it happen."

My heart stopped.

How.

How could a beautiful human being who is so pure and perfect as Alex, who is kind and gentle and sensitive and empathic and loving as my Alex hate himself? How could he hate himself for something he couldn't control?

"Please don't," I whispered. "I love you so, so much. You are the most beautiful person I have ever met. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Alexander, because I can't imagine loving anyone else."

He stopped shaking after a few moments, and we simply just cuddled on the mattress. I pulled out my phone, plugged in my earbuds, and pulled up Netflix. I handed him one bud and put the other in my ear and pulled up The Craft.

As we watched, Alex stayed cuddled to my side, his head on my shoulder and my arm around his waist.

And I realized something.

Anyone who is anyone would want Alex for themselves because he would show them utter love and devotion because that's the type of person he was. But he was so fragile and breakable now, like sugar glass. If I screwed up somehow and he ended up with the wrong person, he could be shattered into dust.

I couldn't let that happen.

I couldn't screw this up.

(GUYS GUYS GUYS I AUDITIONED FOR MY SCHOOL PLAY WITH THE MONOLOGUE FROM "THE WORLD WAS WIDE ENOUGH" AND I GOT THE PART. THERE'S A LESBIAN COUPLE IN THE PLAY GUYS. Y O U  G U Y S)