Sons of Liberty University | Hamilton College AU

Chapter 7 - Pain

*Trigger Warning: self-harm, Alex's mom gets called a whore (AGAIN)*

John

Oh dear God, what the hell am I supposed to do?

Classes started about two days ago, and I cannot focus even for a goddamn second because all I can see is his face.

Shit, man. I didn't sign up for this.

Like, one example would be that I woke up after the first day of classes with his arms wrapped around me. He was so warm and smelled really good that it's a little crazy.

I laid in my bed, staring up at the ceiling. I didn't have any classes on Wednesdays, while Alex's week was full of classes.

It was at the end of the second period when Alex came back to the dorm in the form of a weeping mess.

I jumped up from the bed in surprise when he came in and immediately rushed to the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and locked it.

I knocked on the door softly. "Alex?" I asked. "Lex, you okay?"

I heard his muffled sobs on the other side of the door. I heard the faint sound of water running.

I knocked on the door harder. "Alex," I said, my worry growing in the pit of my stomach.

He didn't answer.

"Alex!" I yelled. "Alex, what are you doing?"

Nothing but the sound of running water.

A horrible premonition came over me as the water continued to run, and his cries continued to sound from behind the door.

I grabbed my student ID and inserted it in between the locking mechanism and the frame of the door. After a second of jostling the card, the door was unlocked. I quickly opened it and gasped in horror.

Alex was staring at himself in the mirror, a blade in his right hand. Three large scratches were on his left wrist. They were all bleeding. His hair was out of its usual ponytail. Big fat tears rolled down his cheeks.

The sink was running.

I quickly rushed towards him and turned his head so he could look at me.

His eyes were full of such pain and fear that it made me want to cry.

I quickly took the blade out of his fingertips and flung it into the bathtub. I grabbed some wraps from the medicine cabinet and wrapped them around his wrist and turned off the sink. I wiped away his tears with my thumb and took him into my arms.

He collapsed onto me, sobbing.

"I-I'm s-s-so sorry," he said. "I'm such a s-screwup--"

"Don't say that," I said softly. I picked him up and carried him over to my bed. I laid down next to him. "Please, God, don't say that. Hasn't anyone told you it's bad to lie?"

He sobbed into my sweater.

"What happened?" I asked. "Why are you so upset?"

"I hate Thomas Jefferson," he said. He wiped his eyes with his sleeve. "Jesus, I hate him so much."

Anger flooded my veins.

Thomas Jefferson. He was such a jerk when it came to a lot of things. Disagree with him once, and you're officially on his hit-list.

"Ignore him," I said softly. "Ignore people like him."

"I-I try to," he said, his voice breaking. "But they were everywhere back at home. They kept hurting me and Mom. I begged them not to hurt her, but they kept doing it!"

"What did he say?" I asked softly.

"He called her a whore," he said. "She never did anything wrong. Why do people keep calling her that?"

I held him tighter to my chest. My Alex was so innocent and pure. He had never wanted to hurt anybody. In the end, he was the one to take their punishments.

"You deserve so much more than that island," I said. "You deserve the entire world at your fingertips, Lex. I--"

I cut myself off.

"What were you gonna say?" he asked, not looking at me.

"...I love you."

I felt him stiffen against me, and I mentally cursed myself. How could I be such an idiot--

"I love you too," he whispered. "I love you so much, John."

I laced my fingers into his hair and held him close. His eyes closed, and his breathing became slow and deep. He had fallen asleep.

I carefully put his head down onto a pillow, then grabbed a pillow from his bed and laid next to him. His arms naturally wrapped around me and pulled me towards him.

And I felt safe.

(I LOVE WRITING CUDDLE SCENES, MAN. MAKES ME FEEL ALL WARM AND FLUFFY INSIDE.)