An Unexpected Love

Chapter 11: I'm Sorry

*Tuesday February 1, 2011*

I woke up much before Louis, but didn’t bother moving as school wasn’t for another 3 hours. I felt horrible about yesterday. I shouldn’t have let him waste his day just lying with me all day. I loved him being there with me, that wasn’t it at all. I just felt like I was a waste of time when he could have done something better. After about an hour of lying there and fighting with myself; Lou woke up. “Morning babe” he said while I turned to face him; but my response was not a good morning instead; “I’m sorry, I’m sorry for telling you. I never should have told you any of this. I’m just a bother to you. I can’t be a normal girlfriend for you; I couldn’t even leave the house with you yesterday. Instead we’re laying here with me crying. I’m sorry that you’re dealing with all of my crap now; I’m sorry Lou… I’m sorry you don’t have a normal girlfriend.” I blurted out as that had been everything I was thinking about in the past hour; tears were streaming down my face.

“Stop it, don’t you ever say that again Allie. You never have and never will be a bother to me. I love just spending time and being with you. I don’t care what we’re doing. I promised you when I found out about all of this that I would be here. And if you remember I promised to hold you when you felt your depression taking over.” It was true he had said that, as I think back to it.

He continued “And I want to be involved in everything. I want to be here, right now, in this moment with you. This right here, right now, is perfect to me. So I don’t want you to ever think that you’re a bother. I told you; I love you and I mean that. You are everything I want in a girlfriend; you’re perfect to me.”

I looked up into his eyes; staring for a moment overwhelmed by what he had said. I had genuinely felt like I was probably bothering him. I guess I’m just use to it; being a bother to people. I’m not use to someone wanting to be around me.

“I love you.” Is all I said before burying my head into his chest as he pulled me closer to him. “I love you too” he said kissing the top of my head before pulling back to look me in the eyes. “Do you think you can go to school today?” He asked with concern in his eyes. “Yea, I’ll be okay.” I said before sitting up; he followed my actions. I swung my legs over to the side of the bed facing away as Louis came behind me laying his chin on my shoulder.

“Hey, we’ll do something after so you won’t have to come back home right away okay?”

“Thanks” I said turning my head to him kissing his lips. “I’m gonna go back to my house to get ready for school but I’ll meet you out front like always okay?” He said getting up holding one of my hands.

I honestly wasn’t feeling like facing school this morning but I knew I needed to. “Yeah” I said letting out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. He pulled the hand he was holding closer to him before pulling me completely to him; my head in his chest and his arms over my shoulders, one hand brushing his fingers through my hair.

“It’s going to be okay” He said before kissing the top of my head. “I’ll be there with you.”  We stood there like that for a moment before he pulled away. “Go take a hot shower, it’ll relax you okay and I’ll see you at school.” He said before kissing me softly and walking over to my window and leaving.

He was right, the shower did help but I still didn’t want to go. I met him in front of the school like I always do and the day went on as normal. Nothing that bad happened at school, just the normal things I get. After school Louis and I went to the mall and just walked around and talked. It was fun though, it lightened my mood and we messed around and may have gotten kicked out of a toy store for running around like little kids. I love Lou; he’s really just a big kid and brings that out in me. As cheesy as it sounds; he brings out the best in me. I’m happy when I’m with him; I can be myself, I let go of a lot.

We were there for a few hours before we both needed to get home to finish up homework and stuff. We walked out to his car; he opened the door for me before getting in on his side and driving off. We sang along to the radio the entire car ride. We pulled up to my street and he stopped a block down and turned to me. “I’ll see you in front of the school tomorrow okay?” He asked still holding my hand as he had the entire car ride. “Yep!” I leaned in to kiss him before getting out and walking up to the house. I waved at Louis before he drove off and I walked in.

 I wish I never walked in there...

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