An Unexpected Love

Chapter 21: By your side

(A/N): Just to let you all know this is the same day as the last chapter. Enjoy

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*Saturday June 9, 2012*

Allie, I read your letter to me probably 20 times tonight; and your journal, yea I’ve been looking through it a lot. I know you were scared Al, but why would you do this? I could have protected you; I would have stayed with you forever if you had wanted. I would never have let your dad kill you; he would have to kill me before he touched you again. I shouldn’t have left you; I know you said that you would have found some way to do it and that I shouldn’t blame myself, but that’s hard to do. I love you Allie and don’t want to do this without you; I’ve been planning forever with you in my head honestly. You’re the person I think about when I see my future, I don’t see you not being in it. In your letter you said you didn’t think that you ever deserved me; well you’re so wrong Al, I’m the one who never deserved you.

They said I found you just in time. That’s scary to me; that if it were a minute later you would have been dead. They’ve put you in a medically induced coma for the next 2 weeks until you’re stabilized and they pumped your stomach and stitched up some of your cuts. You should be okay Al; they said you barely made it. They still aren’t positive about anything and I don’t know what I’ll do if you don’t wake up. I love you so much and just what am I supposed to do without you here with me? You’re supposed to be my forever. I don’t know what you’ll say when you wake up; they already warned me that you might be mad at me for saving you. And if you are, then that’s okay; we’ll work through it. I keep trying to tell myself that you will wake up and that you will be okay but it’s just hard Al. Even if you end up hating me and screaming at me; I just want you to wake up and be okay; even if you never want to see me again because I saved you; I just want you to be okay. I want you to be okay simply because I love you.

It’s almost 2am now and I just keep looking over at you. You know, you’re still beautiful even with tubes and IVs? Yea, you are. Luke’s here and your dad was for a while but he just went back to the pub. And by the way, Luke covered and said I was his friend.

I keep looking over the letter and you kept saying that you wanted me not to hate you and to forgive you for doing it and then forget you. I could never hate you Allie; even if I tried I don’t think I could. And forgiving you, yea I do, it’s okay I just want you to be alright. But never, never in a million years could I ever forget you. How on earth do you forget about the first person you ever truly loved, the person that you plan to live your life with, you don’t and luckily I don’t need to forget you; because we both got a second chance. You got a second chance at life, and I got a second chance to spend mine with you.

I’m going to help you get through all of this; whatever you need we’re going to do for you. I’m going to be by your side through it all. -Louis

Louis POV

As I shut Allie’s journal that I now decided to write things to her in the doctor walked in wanting to talk to me. I looked over to see Luke and I didn’t want to say certain things in front of him just because I knew that he didn’t know she was depressed or of her self harm. He knew she was scared of her dad and assumed that was why she did this as I didn’t show anyone the letter.

“Can we go in the hall?” I suggested

“Did you know she was this depressed?” The doctor asked me once we were out of the room

“Yea, her mom died last week and she’s dealt with depression for years. She was getting better over the past year or so but when her mom died it totally broke her again. She hasn’t even left the house until the funeral which was this morning. This is all my fault; I shouldn’t have left her alone.”

“Son, it’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known she would have tried to do this to herself. Most important thing you can do is keep being there for her when she wakes back up alright. Blaming yourself won’t help you or her.” The doctor told me before leaving back to his other patients as I walked back into the room.

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