An Unexpected Love

Chapter 25: Letters to read

*Friday June 22, 2012*

Louis’ POV

I haven’t seen Allie since yesterday when she woke up. She hasn’t let anyone in to see her, not even Luke. She told the doctors that she just wanted to be alone. Both Luke and myself have been in the hallway right outside her door since yesterday morning. I haven’t been able to sleep and my mind has been going crazy, I know they warned me over and over but I never thought she would actually be upset at me. I love her and what if she’s too mad at me and doesn’t want to be with me anymore. I meant what I wrote before that I just wanted her to be alright even if that meant without me but that doesn’t mean that’s what I want. What am I supposed to do without her? The nurse told me that she probably just said that in the moment out of fear and to not worry until I talk to her again.

What she said keeps replaying in my mind over and over again. “I thought you loved me; why would you do this to me?!” Does she really think that I don’t love her? Because I do, she doesn’t understand how much I love her. I did this because I do love her. Did she really think I would see her there and not try to save her? Did she think I would just let her die?

“Um, ma’am!” I said stopping a nurse before she went into Allie’s room.

“Can you give this to her and tell her I asked if she would read through it?” I asked handing the nurse Allie’s journal that I had written in every day for the past two weeks.

“Of course Louis” She said with a sympathetic smile as she knew that I had basically been kicked out of seeing my own girlfriend.

“Thank you!” I said hoping that Allie would actually read it.

Allie’s POV

“How are you feeling Allie?” The nurse asked me

“I’m feeling better; I’m a bit tired but that’s all.”

“I’m glad.” She smiled back at me.

“The boy out there; Louis, he asked if you would read through this.” She said sweetly handing me my journal.

“He’s still here?” I asked, I guess I had assumed that he had left after I said that I didn’t want to see anyone yesterday.

“Sweetheart, do you realize that he hasn’t left this hospital since you got here? He’s barely even left your room but a handful of times and only then for a few minutes. Every time I came in here he was sitting by your side. I even had to convince him to sleep for a few hours because he was always so worried that he would miss something happening. He’s been sitting right next to your door since yesterday too. You’ve got someone that really loves you, you know?”

“Yea, I really do. Thank you” I said taking the journal from her hands. She simply nodded before leaving the room. He never left? He’s been here the whole time?

I opened the journal not knowing exactly what I was looking for in it. I flipped towards the back where I had my last entry before seeing entries after that in Louis’ handwriting.

**

‘You mean the world to me’

‘…and that’s why I need you Al.’

‘… 6. Your laugh 7. The look of pure joy on your face when you’re truly happy 8.You are my other half…’

‘…protected you; I would have stayed with you forever if you had wanted….I love you Allie and don’t want to do this without you; I’ve been planning forever with you in my head honestly. You’re the person I think about when I see my future, I don’t see you not being in it.’

‘…In your letter you said you didn’t think that you ever deserved me; well you’re so wrong Al, I’m the one who never deserved you.’

‘…I don’t know what I’ll do if you don’t wake up.’

‘You’re supposed to be my forever’

‘You know, you’re still beautiful even with tubes and IVs? Yea, you are.’

‘How on earth do you forget about the first person you ever truly loved, the person that you plan to live your life with, you don’t and luckily I don’t need to forget you; because we both got a second chance. You got a second chance at life, and I got a second chance to spend mine with you.’

 ‘…they already warned me that you might be mad at me for saving you. And if you are, then that’s okay; we’ll work through it. I keep trying to tell myself that you will wake up and that you will be okay but it’s just hard Al. Even if you end up hating me and screaming at me; I just want you to wake up and be okay; even if you never want to see me again because I saved you; I just want you to be okay. I want you to be okay simply because I love you.’

 ‘I’m going to help you get through all of this; whatever you need we’re going to do for you. I’m going to be by your side through it all.’

I read through the letters that Louis had written, he wrote one every single day; just for me. Why did I yell at him yesterday? He’s apparently done nothing in two weeks but watch over me and I wake up and yell at him. I didn’t mean to though; I just woke up scared. What will my dad do? Where even is he? I’ll try not to think of that right now though.

“Are you alright sweetheart?” I heard the nurse ask as I was reading the last page of the entries.

“I’m sorry, what?” I asked turning my eyes up away from the book.

“Are you alright? You’re crying.” She said offering me a tissue.

“Oh, I didn’t even realize. Yes, I’m alright. Would you mind asking Louis to come in here?”

“I’m sure he’d love to.” She smiled before turning towards the door.

“Thank you!”

“Allie?” I heard Louis practically whisper walking into the room.

“Hi!” I said quietly but happily. He walked over towards me to the chair next to me.

“I’m sorry Al.”

“Why? I’m the one who yelled at you.”

“Allie, that doesn’t matter alright?” He assured me grasping my hand as I simply nodded. The room was silent for a moment; I had so much I wanted to tell him but didn’t know where to start.

“Did you really never leave?” I asked breaking the silence.

He nodded before responding. “It’s not like I was just going to leave you here at some hospital while I was at home. I wanted to make sure you were always okay.”

“You didn’t have to-” I started but he cut me off.

“Yes I did, I wanted to.” He smiled squeezing my hand.

“Are you mad at me?”

“No of course not, I could never be mad at you; I love you.” As he said those three words relief swept over me. He really does still love me; I know he wrote it but to hear him say it makes it real.

“I love you too Louis.” I said scooting over. “Lay with me?” I asked.

He climbed up laying down beside me; wrapping his arms around me and pulling my into his chest. This is where I belong; with him in his arms. This is where I feel at peace, this is where I feel safe, this is where I feel loved.

“I missed you so much Al.” He admitted as he kissed the top of my head and I could hear it in his voice that he was starting to cry.

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying that.” He said holding me tighter. It was then that nothing else mattered; it was just us. I wasn’t worrying about what would happen now, what would happen when I went home, when I would have to go home, nothing. All I knew is that Louis was there and wasn’t going to leave me.

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