REALLY WATTPAD? REALLY?

chapter 9: blushing and the absurd reaction

So apparently in books, if you blush, some hot guy will do the frickle-frackle with you, take you out, and marry you within like 5 weeks

*eye roll*

And the fact that the girl blushing always leads to something happening and it gets realy annoying after a while, are you guys following me? Here's an example:

Hi my name is BandsDatMakeHaDance and i wuz waking doun da streeh wen i saw a blu orbd blond hors hair guy starin @ mah bootay, i blushed and started to walk wit swagah baybeh

"girl u r blushin n its cayuut" he said n i blusht deeepir

"omg i cant resist aneemor" n he carried meh 2 da janitors closet n we did da frickle-frackle-frockle.

after we wuz dun, i blushed n i spoke up "AY WHUTS YO NAYM HOTTEY!1111!!!!1!11111"

"my naym be Tomatowasher Fushagaka, so gurl, u gonna tell me ur naym *click* or naaahhh?!??"

"my naym be BandsDatMakeHaDance, so we gon get outta her- *door unlocking sound, click, janitor walks in*

i turnd around n my eyes bulgd outta there sockets lyke tenis ballz den shrunk 2 da syze uv ping pong ballz n i got dark circles n look weird, okay just play cool with the janitor.

i started to say "oh heyeyeyyeeyey mr. MookquaMoooooMoooooMooooMooooosh (the janitors name) we wuz just-." but den i reelyzed dat..

da wuz janitor just sat der n i took in hiz every feecher.

hiz mauth wuz open cuz he suprised n he wuz droolin' he wuz also huncht. over i noticed his left front tooth wuz huge n his tung wuz blue

his right eye wuz twitchin n he had cow eyelashes his eyes were blu n he wuz short he has a butt chin n a tiny nose, he had a skiny six pak n wuz a light-dark man his legs were like a chiken n his arms wer musclely

he wuz wearin a tyte hot pink flowy pencil skirt n a flower crop top n flats with a mop in his hands.

HE. WUZ. SO. HANDSOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!!1111!!!!!!!1!!!1!

Suddenlee his nose grew big n red nd he started 2 jump up nd down shoutin '"GET AAAOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!

IMA TELLUR PRINCIPAL, SHABANKAKA, ABOUT THIS!!' He yelled, his huge left front tooth showing a lot. I blushed lyke a tomaytoh.

da next day we got called 2 da office.

"so Tomatowasher and BandsDatMakeHaDance were u 2 fookin in da janiterz closit?"

"noh" i lied "we got shuvd n lokt in der cuz da dor loks imedeitly"

"ok" she said n i blushed, den b4i nu it Tomatowasher had swept me off my feet and we were ditching school.

"U BLUSHT" YELLED TOOMATOWASHER

"I NEED TO TAKE U OUT ON A DAYT" I blusht agen n den found maself @ nandos n we ate lonche

*2 months later*

Tomatowasher came in2 sa room al swagity swoogeh n sed 2 meh "u wanna get married?*click* or nah?"

"yeah"

den we had a weding at Burger King n after Tomatowasher n i frickle frackled n had a a kid namd Frakakashadaku TomatoMakeHaDance.

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Ok lets get something straight. Blushing. is not always that cute. Like, just stop, something about it gets on my nerves.

A/N: hey guys! third update today! if you think this rant is missing something tell me :) -swimmergalxxxxxxX