REALLY WATTPAD? REALLY?

* Chapter 1: Alarm clocks and morning routines

Originally published on March 29th, 2014.

(A/N hi guys :) if you get offended super easily please do not read this, not meaning I'm gonna try to be offensive buuuuuuuttt this is a rant book, so if you just so happen to have some of these things in your story/stories, please do not comment going

"-_- really ReAlLy REALLY U R SOOOOOOOOOO OFFENSIVE!"

Cause I'm not, but if l make a remark that is really offensive tell me cause sometimes I say stuff without knowing :) -Unicornclars)

I notice this stuff in both teen and fanfic but I read mostly fanfic, so it's told in a fanfic POV. Please don't mind that.

Okaay sooo lets start off with two morning routines that have just got... to..... stop.

1. When the story starts with an alarm clock, and jumping in the shower etc

Example: *BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!* UUUUR UUUUGGGGHHH UGH!! i screemd b4 i slamd mah hand down on mah Blackberry 5s i lovd it so much it is pink and pretty and has a slick screen lol. anywy noooo 's scool tyme! so liek, i getz up an walk to da shower n jump in litteraly. i washt mah boty and mah hayur den i got out n get drest and i put mah hayur in a masy buhn and applyd a bit o maykup *applies entire Sephora store* den i whent out da dour.

I have seen this multiple times in stories. What. The. FOOK. OK so first off with the alarm clock, no, just no.

And then, your phone. We do not CARE. You do not need to describe your phone so much.

And then, you did WHAT? YOU JUMPED INTO THE SHOWER OHH HEEEEECK NO! NO! THATS JUST SHADY! And then you put you hair in a messy bun?!?!? No!!! NO! NOOOOO! Do some authors even know what a "messy bun" really is?

2. Kissing with morning breath

i woke up in da earlee mornin and i looked over and saw harry and his green orbs were liek pools then i attatcht mah lips 2 his and OMG dat mornin breath

EWWWWW DIGEUSTIG