REALLY WATTPAD? REALLY?

Chapter 30: Kidnapping and being saved

Those fookin annoying fanfics where the girl is out in the dark alley and then gets kidnapped and somehow the main boy finds her and saves her and then next thing you know, they are married.

That’s an awesome story line right?

NO! STOP MAKING STORIES SO CLICHÉ UUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

EXAMPLE:

HI my naym be CandleFrogFace but u can cal meh Kandahl. I wuz wakin down a dark aley bcuz I’m stoopid as fook. And suddenly.

THIS BALD DOOD WITH CHERREY RED LIPZTICK AND EYE SHAHDOW DAT WUZ BLU AND HE DIDN’T EVEN NOT HAD A NOSE!

“HAYELP HAYELP HAYELP HAYELP HAYELP HAYELP! CREEPY BALD GUY!” I SCREMED.

BUT NO ONE CAYM AND BFOR I KNEW IT I WUZ BEIN PUT IN A VAN AND TAYKED TO A HAUSE AND DEN I WUZ PUTTED INFRONT UV A TAYBLE

NOH NOH NOH NOH NOH NOH NOH NOH NOH NOH NOH NOH NOH NOH NOH NOH NOH NOH NOH  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

DIS CANT BE HAPPENIN!!!!!111!1!!!!11!!!1!1! NNOOOHHHH.

“ELLOH” he began “my name be LionChairCowShitYuck but you can call me THE LION KING OR TO BE MORE EXACT, MR. LION KING!111!1!” HE YELLED

“YOU WILL OBEY MAH EVERY COMMAND GOT IT GIRL!?” I NODDED BUT IDK HOW SOMEONE CAN TALK WIT NOH NOSE!

HE SHAVED A PLATE OF CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES INFRONT OF ME AND I STARTED CRIENG! THEN HE GOT A NARWHAL AND CUT ITS HAIR OFF OH NOOOOOHHHHHH!!!!!!

POOR NARWHAL! WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO? UM UM UMU

UM UM UM UM UM UM UM UM UM UMUMUMUMUMMUUUMUUMMMMMMMMMMM UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

THEN HE SHOVED CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM AND MY VARY OWN PIZZA INFRONT OF MEH OH NOH!

“EAT IT NOW!” HE BOOMD

EWWW EWW EWWW COOKIES YUCK WHO LIKES COOKIES?

BUT I ATE DEM ANYWAY CAUSE I I DIDDENT DEN MR. LION KING WILL KILL ME WITH A SPOON OH NOH OH NOH NOH NOH NOH NOH NOHNOHNOHNHONH HHNHOHHJHLKTHLUT.

SUDDENLY I WAS THROWED IN COTTON CANDY AND I STARTED TO SCEAM MAH HEAD OFF AND START CRIENG BECAUSE COTTON CANDY IS SCARY IT MIGHT TURN INTO MEDUSA AND TURN ME INTO STONE COTTON CANDY WHATEVER DA FLOCK DAT IS OMGLOL LOL LOL LOL!

DEN MR LION KING TURNED ON RAP MUSIC AND I STARTED CRIENG AND THE COTTON CANDY STARTED BEETIN MAEH UP! IT FELT LYKE UNICORNS AND HEAVEN BEIN ATTACKED BY COTTON CANDY SO I STARTED CRIENG EVEN HARDER AND DA COTTONCANDY WAS MELTING BCUZ OF MAH TEERS.

“GOOD NIGHT GURL!” SAID MR LION KING. AND HE WENT OUT DA DOOR!

*****************************************

DA NEXT DAY, MR LION KING TOOK MEH UTTA DA COTTON CANDY AND I STARTED SOBBIN MAH EYES OUT!

 DEN ALL OF DA SUDDEN HE GOT RIPPED AWAY FROM MEH AND I FELL ON DA GROUND AND SAW DIS GUY WHO I ASSUMED WAS HANDSOME BEETIN UP MAH KIDNAPPER AND HE WAS PASSED AUT!!1!!!!1!!!1!!!1!!!!!!!!111!!1111!!11!1!!

AFTER HE GOT DONE! HE PICKED ME UP AND DEN STUFFED HIZ NOSE INSIDE MAH SHIRT BECAUSE I BE SMELLIN LIKE BEN AND JERRIES AND COKIES AND COTTON CANDY!

HE HAD BLOND HAIR AND BLUE ORBEEZ AND ROSY CHEEKS AND NOT TO MENTION SWOLLEN LIPS THAT WERE PINK AS A LOLLYPOP AND HE WUZ SOOO HANDSOME!!1!1!

“WHATS YO NAME? MAH HOMIE!” I SAID

“WILLY WONKUH!” HE REPLIED OMG I LOVE DA WAY HIS NAME ROLLED OFF HIS TOINGE!

“DO YOU WAANA GET MARRED GUUURRRRLLLL!?”HE SED TO MEH.

“YASS” I SAID

DEN BEFORE I KNEW IT I WUZ AT TACO BELL AND IT SMELLED HORRIBLE, IT WAS THE BEST WEDDING IN HISTORY!

THEN WE TURNED INTO HOGS AND THEN HAD UNICORN KIDS TAHAT BY THE FOOKIN WAY LOOOKED LIKE FOOKIN DODO BIRDS!

THEN SQUIDWARD RAN OUTTA NOWHERE AND SHOVED US IN A HUGE CLARINET AND WE MADE A HOME OUT OF IT AND WE BUILT AN IN AND OUT BURGER AT OUR HOUSE AND COUNDNT STOP EATING CHICKEN NUGETS BECAUSE IT WAS SO GOOD.

AND WE LIVED HAPPILY AVER AFTER LOL LOL LOL LLO LLO LLOL LLOL LOL L LLL LOL BYE BYE BYE BYE :D :D :D :D :D :D :D!

(A/N: hey guys. Sooo yeah, these types of stories kinda annoy me uuuuuuuururrrrrgggghhhhhh. Like no! It is not ok! And I will not just uuuuuuggghh! Signature: IAmTottallyOuttaIdeadForSignatures)