REALLY WATTPAD? REALLY?

Chapter 41: Character descriptions

Omg so I was on Instagram and I checked Harry Styles' page and I saw he posted a pic of Ed Sheeran's new album and he tagged @edsheeran because he thought it was his account but Ed's account is @teddysphotos or something. And the user @edsheeran was a FAN ACCOUNT SO HARRY STYLES TAGGED A FAN AND I DON'T EVEN THINK HE KNOWS! OMG I'M SO FOOKING JEALOUS!

Anyway so in this chapter I will be talking about character descriptions and usage. Please comment, I like to know what you think.

The girls are like always the same, it's annoying. Here's the most common thing to see

Name: Kylie or Mia

That's why I like to read "Alternate Universe" fanfics, they are more realistic and a lot more interesting to read. But they aren't afraid to use different names

Eyes: the eyes always must be blue. Brown eyes and are forbidden unless they are referred to as

"Shiet color" or "mud brown"

OUR EYES DO NOT LOOK LIKE MUD! JUST FOOKING STOP!

Hair: long, luscious, golden blonde, dirty blonde, palest basically white hair, regular blonde. Must be straight or wavy! Curly is forbidden for the main character. And afros just don't exist!

What is wrong with putting other hair colors and types in their?

Body shape: what most people think of as perfect

Skin color: pale, perfectly tanned, or "clear"

Strength: ummm I don't know she can't defend herself or be strong unless she is five foot eight.

Weakness: everything because she always cries and is a brat!

Status: rich or poor but she can still afford an iPhone or smartphone, a BMW, and lives in a mansion with a credit card with gosh who knows how much money on it.

Her parents: dead

a. Abusive

b. Not mentioned

c. Randomly appear when she needs them or suddenly appear outta nowhere

d. Are constantly out on business trips

Confidence: a. none whatsoever

b. Way too overly confident and clearly trying to make her readers look at themselves and say "gosh I'm ugly"

Examples:

1. So I wakes up and get up and go to da mirror and I see my wavy long blonde hair that goes to mah big fat bootay, I hated my hair uuuuuggggghhhhhh.

Then I look at my crystal blue eyes and I hate them I started crying and my mascara that I haven't even put on yet runs down my face.

Then I hate my body because I'm fat but I weigh 114 pounds. My thighs touch and I can't see my GOSH FORSAKEN WHY THE HECK DO PEOPLE PUT THIS IN BOOKS MOTHAFOOKITY COLLAR BONES!

I sigh and go to my Forever 21 closet and put on a crop top and skinny jeans lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol. And my pink Converse because my author hates sneakers.

Ok STAHHHPPPP! *stabs eyes with chicken*

So first off with your long hair. No. why do authors do that, do they know how much of a pain long hair can be? And if it's down to your butt, then what do you do?