~ Kaisee ~
I could only guess what happened.
Somehow... I got extremely drunk... I left that fucking party with Mark... and now I'm at home... sitting around in the same clothes I found lying around on the floor in my bedroom.
On my kitchen table sat a small note:
Enjoyed it ;)
– M
So what am I supposed to think of myself now... I got so drunk that I fucked someone I wasn't technically in a relationship with?
He "enjoyed it"... I can tell...
So what am I supposed to think of Mark as well?
He won't answer the phone... and I'm so goddamn confused.
Ugh... what the hell even is going on?
I need to talk to Jennie...
~ Jungkook ~
First it was heartbreak... but now it was just questions, even more so than before.
Why? When? How?
And more detailed things as well.
It made me realize how little I really knew about Kai... maybe if that changed, then I'd have more of a chance.
Tomorrow is my birthday.
Monday I'd have to see her again.
That gave me two days to heal completely, to build myself back up again.
And if that doesn't happen, if I can't bring myself back to the previous "reality" then what am I supposed to even be?
The Jungkook that only eight people know exists...? The Jungkook that I hate so much but always happens to break out from within me? The Jungkook that doesn't have it all......?
The Jungkook that's lost a true smile...
No. I wouldn't go there. That was old news... I'm not that Jungkook anymore. I have reasons to smile now, and they're great reasons.
The pencil I was holding snapped.
Jin looked at me from the other side of the room. "Are you okay?"
"What if I go back?" I asked him quietly.
"I'd see it in your eyes. You know that. you're fine, don't worry." He smiled slightly. "Be careful though, a relapse of that could be extremely dangerous for your mind."
"What was the thing the psychologist always said?"
"Feelings are always going to be dangerous for you..." Jin answered, "Either that or: Always be careful with the word 'normal'"
I nodded.
There were always specific things she told me. It was so weird to me when I was fourteen... I started to suspect that she needed some psychological treatment too.
I'm still not sure what she meant by 'be careful with the word normal', but Jin seemed to understand it from the second he heard her say it.
