✔ GONE BY [I'm In love]

Chapter 43| My Dongsaeng

[YOONGI]

After I wanted him to hate me again, look what just happened. Everything went worse. I knew I wasn't deserving to be his brother, and I shouldn't have the courage to ask for a chance again. I flunked gaining his trust, and I walked away.

I thought it's better for him to live without me. Likewise, before. He had that "peaceful" and "calm" life before I came and ruined it. How can I even call myself a fair loving brother? It was all unwanted. I don't want him to be with the woman at first, but in the end I've eaten my words and I, myself, fell in the pit of peril. Am I still in the right sanity? I'm not like this. They know it.

Everything was still fine until I wanted to change for the better, but it only went worse. I'm a failure after all. My brother may be really right since first. I only used him to protect myself because I only wanted his power, or I only used him because I wanted to steal her.

I know for myself that it was a sudden happening, finding myself lured of her. I doubted her, and I'm even against her the past few weeks...

In one snap, all the matters I've thought so well, got all in vain. I have the fault of starting this mess for my sake only, and I'm greedy-- admitted.

I wish I just don't feel anything.

Even deep inside me, I didn't intend to screw my brother and Ji-Eun. But what can I do? It's the only thing they see to blame on me... and they even got the point moreover.

The only thing that's left to do is live alone, far away from him. Without me, he'll live better.

Though how could I stick to that with ease if I just figured out my brother was entailed in an accident?

I never wanted him to cross the wrong way once I walk away-- I wanted him to find the right path instead.

"WHERE is he?"

He's still my younger brother after all.

"I want to see him!"

I can't feel anything at all. I just want to see my brother.

The nurse has been blocking the doorway inside his room, preventing me to come in.

"The patient doesn't want any visitor today, sir!" She explained.

I scowled at her but she didn't let go.

"He's my brother, stay out of the way before I hurt you---"

I unexpectedly trailed off hearing a voice interrupting me.

"Yoongi!"

Hoseok has the others behind him, rushing towards me. They look so terrified.

I gazed at her again paying my attention back to the nurse again. I aimed to move her but Namjoon grabbed me right away.
"Yoongi! What are you doing?" He asked.

I pulled my arm off his grip and pushed him hard.
"I need to see him!"

Jin's face was worried. He paced forward to pat me gently.
"Jungkook doesn't want to see any of us for now." He said. "I wish you understand."

How can I understand him if they don't even understand me? They are nothing but stupid creatures. I'm not the one who's inconsiderate.

"You need to understand me first, Jin. I'm the brother, and you're just the stranger."

Before I left him astonished, I glanced at the others.

The nurse didn't wait me to speak, she just ran away and gave me the way. I twisted the knob and preceded in, my heart throbbing.