Feeling This (Ashton Irwin)

ten - pissing contest

School was slowly getting better. It was always so lonely, whenever I turned a corner I would find Luke, Calum or Michael. I had basically every class with Luke, but the difference is he's passing the everything with flying colours while I'm managing on just getting by. I unfortunately didn't have any with Michael since he was a year older, but I was definitely the closest with Michael out of the three, not including Ashton.

We were slowly getting to know each other, skipping the awkward meetings since our make out session got us past that part. We were comfortable with each other and I was learning things about him everytime we hung out. There was no pressure to be perfect around him, he literally didn't give a shit.

Since I didn't have Troye here and Ashton as turning out to be a little more than a friend, I needed someone who I could trust and we wouldn't get in silly fights and well, Michael and I definitely connected the most.

I was currently walking extremely close to Michael to his house where all the other boys were going to meet us soon after for a band practice and sleepover. My dad probably wouldn't be too happy with me spending the night with four teenage boys, but I didn't really care what he has to stay.

The witch was settling nice and was home almost all the time while my dad was showing up less and less. I was a little more than pissed off at him and had given him the silence treatment since we got here. I'm not too sure when I'll stop being a brat to him, but for now he'll have to deal with it.

Michael whips open the door and motions me in, slamming the door shut behind him which causes me to jump. He chuckles at me to which I respond with by flipping him off.

"You're so annoying, no wonder you don't have a girlfriend." I comment.

His face is no longer joking, "Look, I don't want a girl friend alright?"

I laugh, that's what they always say. "I'm sure that's it babe."

"Well at least one of us has got a relationship sparking." His says smugly.

My face instantly turns beet red at the thought of Ashton. Michael didn't even have to say his name and I knew exactly who he meant, "Hey! Don't change the subject! By the way, have you ever noticed how Luke looks at Jamie? Man has it bad."

"Hey! Don't change the subject you doof." He retorts.

"Whatever, I don't really think Ashton wants a relationship." I say sadly. Not that I was really looking for a relationship either, but if Ashton wanted me like that I wouldn't think twice about it.

"The boy doesn't stop talking about you, of course he wants a relationship." Michael complained.

"As soon as we start dating though it's going to go downhill and one of us will fuck it up, y'know? I kind of don't want to label it and just see how it goes." That's how all relationships work.

"Well, we're going to go to other cities and girls are going to be all over him and I'll just tell you 'I told you so'."My smile fades and I'm genuinely afraid I'll lose him before I even get the chance to properly have him. "I'm just kidding Zoe, I know that Ashton really likes you okay?" He pulls me into a bear hug and I can feel tears starting to prick in my eyes, what the hell was wrong with me?

"Zoe, I know you, you can cry if you need to." He whispers even though there is no one else in the whole house. This boy already knows me so well and we've only been friends for over a week.

Instead of saying anything, I squeeze his waist even tighter and in response he tightens his grip on me as well. We stand there for a few minutes in complete silence. It wasn't awkward at all and although a few tears managed to escape my eyes, I felt better.

I could hear the door open and the thumping of feet echoing through the house but I don't want to let go of Michael just yet.

My back is faced away from whoever just entered the kitchen and my face is buried in Michael's chest, obstructing my view.

I detach my arms from Michael and turn to meet Ashton face to face, much closer than I'd anticipated. Before I know it, he presses his lips onto mine. It was short, and I barely had time to register it before he pulls away. He smirks at Michael and walks out of the room without saying anything to either of us, leaving us both dumbfounded.

Michael states the obvious, "Well, he definitely likes you then. A little over-protective and he clearly wants you."

"That clears that up..." I say with a slight smile. That definitely pissed me off, but in a way it was kind of cute.

"Better go find the boys before they destroy my house."

I stay behind, and my smile grows even wider. He likes me, like properly likes me.

What if he got too close to my fucked up life though?

What if he couldn't handle me?

Or worse, what if he didn't want to?

Stop over-thinking it.

I go to find the boys who were now sat in the basement with their instruments. Calum sees me and removes his bass, running up to say hi and give me a hug.

"Aww, Zoe, I missed you!"

"Calum you just saw me at school!" He squeezes me tighter and I'm struggling to breath, "Oh my gosh, you're squishing me!" I scream.

Ashton gets up and walks over to Calum, "Hey, mate, let her go." He says sternly.

Luke and Calum both knew about our kiss, but they didn't hear it from me so I assume that Ashton had told them. "Someone's a little over protective... What's up with you two anyways?" Calum asks. Dead silence. An awkward silence that I couldn't bear. Ashton and I lock eyes but neither of us goes to say anything.

Michael thankfully interrupts the awkward moment by saying that they should practice.

I tune out their clanking, mostly because I'd already heard them play before and I'd listened to all their songs. I couldn't help but notice Ashton staring at me while they sang the chorus to their newest song.

"I swear my heart is never giving up

You're the reason, the only reason"

My breath hitches in my throat and I swear it's only him and I in the room. Hell, even the whole world. I finally pry my eyes from him and when I look back he's got his famous smile and even though I can't hear him over the instruments, I guarantee that he's giggling.

I take in all his features, admiring them all individually. His arms would tense every time he hit his cajon, showing off his increasing muscles that I longed to rub my hands over. His chin had a faint stubble line that made him look a little older and made his jawline more noticeable. He was biting his pale lips, which just made me want to kiss him more. His cute nose that he always rubbed when he was talking or nervous. He had just recently gotten a haircut, and although it was still fairly long, his curls were some what contained. He was wearing that annoying hat that I loved but would never admit it to him. His ego was rising and he needed someone to keep him grounded.

I finish by looking at his shining hazel eyes that seem to mesmerize me every time.

A/N

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- jess