Feeling This (Ashton Irwin)

eighteen - love

Nearly two weeks after Ashton unknowingly exclaimed that he was in love with me had slowly passed, and he hadn't even mentioned it to me. Countless dates and hours spent together, and he had never muttered those 3 words. No matter how many kisses had been exchanged or the many late nights wasted away watching films, he hadn't said a word about it. A few times I thought he was close to getting them out. I noticed him getting extremely nervous a couple times, and he began to stumble out his words, but never once had he managed to get them out.

I remember one very clearly, he had picked me up after school in his car and we went driving. We screamed out the lyrics to our favourite the1975 songs, his graceful voice could still be heard through my ears, each word leaving imprints in my head.

Once we had gotten to our destination, I grabbed the skateboard I had road to school this morning and he grabbed his that was stashed away in the back.

"My lady," He had said, reaching for my hand, "Can I have this skate?"

I took his hand in mind, and laughed, "Always so cheesy. Of course."

I lost track of time, being with him was so incredible. It was as though nothing else mattered when we were together.

We decided to just sleep in his car that night, so I sent a text to Sarah to tell her that I would be away. We were on better terms, as long as we didn't spent too much time together it was alright, there was much less fighting.

As we laid there together, legs tangled together and hands intertwined, I heard him mumble something but it wasn't audible enough to hear.

"What did you say?" I asked him.

"Nothing, it doesn't matter."

I swear I had heard him say those three little words, but it shattered my heart that he didn't have the confidence to say them.

I was starting to think I'd have to say them first, just like how I had to ask him first. It always seemed like I had to take matters into my own hands, and it was starting to frustrate me that he wouldn't take control.

3am and a 5 hour skype call with Troye later, and I was finally getting ready for bed. It was the weekend and I basically never slept anyways. There was too much to be missed if you were asleep, I can sleep when I was dead.

As I crawled into bed I heard a persistent tapping coming from the window on beat every few seconds.

Tap... Tap... Tap...

I thought it might be rain but there wasn't a cloud in the sky from my point of view so I cautiously wander over to the window, praying there isn't a murderer at my window.

It's dark, but those piercing hazel eyes could be spotted anywhere. I pull open the window to reveal a boy with a smile plastered from ear to ear, "Ashton Fletcher, what the hell are you doing?" I whisper yell at him.

"I missed you too much, Zoe Lee." He says in a sappy tone.

I wave to him, motioning him to come up, "Come on, then."

He gives me a confused look, "Are you going to open the door?" He says, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Nope, if you're going to come here at 3am and throw pebbles at my window you're going to go full out hopeless romantic and climb up here."

"Always so stubborn." I hear him mutter.

"What was that, sorry didn't catch it?"

"Nothing, you're beautiful!" He says yells back innocently.