Feeling This (Ashton Irwin)

twenty five - goodbyes

Ashton and I had pretended like that night in the car never happened. When we arrived at his house he carried me inside and we fell asleep together. Like nothing had changed. But things were changing, too fast for my liking. We spent all our time in his room, not even bothering to eat. As it got closer and closer to our departures, we got more anxious. Eventually our long talks and laughter turned into silence and full on cuddles because we knew this time tomorrow we wouldn't be with each other. This was the last time in forever that he would nuzzle his head into my neck, and that our bodies would mold perfectly together. This was the last time I would be able to breathe in his scent, and have it linger on me hours after I've left. I wouldn't be able to look at those deep dimples and be able to count on him to catch me every time I fell. I wouldn't have anywhere to run to, because he was gone.
It was perfect that we were both basically leaving at the same time, so we would both be distracted.
I pull my bag through the large airport, my hand covered by Ashton's as we follow close behind the big group. Luke, Calum, Michael, their crew, Troye and Catty all walked ahead of us.
They seemed to give us more space than normal, probably sensing the awkwardness. I was looking for a distraction, anything to keep me from thinking about leaving. I couldn't help but notice Catty walking extremely close to Luke. He was even carrying one of her bags for her and their arms would brush every now and again. Eventually Luke took a hold on one of her fingers, lightly linking it with his. I hadn't realized that maybe it wasn't just hard for Ashton and I, there were more sacrifices within our group that were being made.
At least I knew Catty would be just as heartbroken about leaving Luke as I was with Ashton.
I quickly whispered some quiet good byes, clutching onto Michael until I had to leave. It wasn't as hard to leave the rest of the guys, but they were still my best friends, and I was still going to miss them everyday.
I mentioned to Troye and Catty that I would meet them at the terminal that lead to our plane so that Ashton and I could have some final alone time.
There was no talking until we said our good byes, but we made a vow that neither one of us would cry.
"This is just like we met." Ashton whispers.
"What?" I ask, scrunching my eyebrows together in confusion. Ashton taps the tip of my crinkled nose and push him away, but change my mind and bring his body against mine again.
"The very first time we met. Was at that airport in Perth. You were getting on to go to Sydney and we just arrived."
"I thought you guys were some prissy little boy band when I first saw you." I admitted.
"Why'd you think that? We look punk rock!"
"Your fans don't! That's what confused me! They all looked at me like I had three heads."
"Well I'm glad I looked at you, or else we probably wouldn't be here now."
"What was your first impression of me?" I whisper. I wasn't quite sure if I wanted to know the answer, considering how most people judge by what they see. I didn't want Ashton to have been one of those people.
"If you went back to that day and told me that I was going to fall in love with you, I probably never would've believed you. I thought you looked stuck up."
"That's good cause I thought you did too." We both laugh at each other.
"Thank god I actually got to know you."
"Is this our thing now, airports?" He asks. From this point on, no matter where we went or who we ended up with, whenever I thought of airports I would think of this relationship and this man standing right in front of me.
"I guess so."
"I'll see you soon?" He asks and it's taking all of my strength not break down right here and beg to go with him. I need to be on my own for a bit, it's what's best for both of us.
I secure my arms around his waist, leaving my head against his beating heart. I took one long breath in to remember him by, and as if he noticed he pulls away to remove his sweater. I lift my arms up so that he can put it over my head and I shimmy it on. It goes to about my mid thigh but it smells just like him. "Thanks." I mumble as I give him another infinite hug."I'll come visit you as soon as I'm on break or I get ahead with assignments or something. I don't know, we're going to be okay, okay?"
He kisses the top of my head,"Zoe Lee you're rambling. Go you're gonna miss your flight." I feel his lips touch mine once more and I can't seem to get enough. Every time he pulls away I bring him back down to my level, peppering light kisses on his lips until I hear the operating system call for my flight.
I groan against his lips, finally pulling away. "I love you. I love you so much Ashton Fletcher."
I try not to look back, because if I look at those puppy dog hazel eyes before I get through the locked doors I won't be able to leave him. I walked through the doors into the shuttle that leads to my plane. I quickly wipe my fallen tears with the back of my hands, begging myself not to turn around. Troye grabs me in a hug and Catty soon follows until we're standing in a circle in a her awkward but comforting hug. I focus all my attention on hugging them so that I don't betray myself and look back.

a/n

I wrote this on mobile and idk how short it is but I will have the next update for u soon like aka tmrw night

I basically have the rest of this story written ( there's 4 chapts left + epilogue )