Feeling This (Ashton Irwin)

twenty three - sibling love/hate

I am so sorry this has been like a month since i update oh my god lol 

anyways enjoy??

“How long is this drive going to take?” I groan.

“Like, a full day of driving I think.” He says, throwing our bags in the backseat.

“24 hours in a car with you? Sounds like hell.” I tease.

“We aren’t stopping to sleep, so you’d better get rest on the way so we can eventually switch drivers.”

“That’s fine, I don’t really sleep anyways.” He laughed at the truth behind my comment as we piled into his old car and drove away from the houses and everything well known to us and towards his family.

It was silent for awhile, but I noticed him bouncing his leg up and down and checking his mirrors over and over again. “Ashton, are you nervous?” I ask.

“Course I am, why do you think I’m bringing you?”

“Don’t I make you nervous too though…” I play with my hoop nose piercing, twirling it until it’s back in place.

“Yeah but it’s a good kind of nervous. I don’t know, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen them. I’m just afraid they’ll be mad at me.”

“It’s so hard to be mad at you, trust me I’ve tried.”

“Why is it hard?” He says and he makes that laugh.

“That damn laugh of yours could cure cancer and stop wars. And you’re too beautiful a person to be mad at.” I say truthfully. Ashton was just a great person to sit there and admire. No matter what he was doing, he was automatically the most amazing person in the room. He was nice to all his fans even if they did get on his nerves. He gave everyone more credit than they deserved. He was just such a perfect person in the most imperfect way.

“Good to know.”

We drove for a little while, getting through more than a few hours of the journey. Most of the time was spent screaming the lyrics to songs that we had memorized and made out to before. Every once in awhile he’d point out something cool that we’d drive by. I couldn’t help but think about how it’ll be like to be away from each other. I’m not going to hear that beautiful giggle, or have that smile brighten up my day and remind me that there is a point to being alive.

We stopped off to get some food before we switched drivers. Ashton was looking like he was about to fall asleep so I thought it’d be best if I got some energy and then he could get some sleep. I noticed him getting even more nervous as we got closer and closer to his aunt’s house. We sat across from each other in a grungy booth staring at each other as we silently ate our crappy drive in food. Our feet were both propped up on the seats in total comfort.

I take another bite from my french fries while Ashton stares at me intently, his eyes becoming wide in wonder. “What is it?”

“What?” He says, snapping back to reality. He didn’t even realize he was staring.

“I can tell you want to ask me something. Your eyes.”

“How can you possibly know me that well?”

“Because I love you,”

“I love you too… Why are you never afraid?”

I’m not exactly shocked at his question, but it wasn’t what I was expecting. “That was random.”

“I don’t know it’s just you-you’re so calm about everything. It’s like nothing can ever hurt you. But you aren’t optimistic at all, and you hate people, so I just don’t get it?”