"Serenade, please, you need to eat." Chris begs.
"I'm not Serenade, I'm Seya and I'm not fucking hungry. I told you." I bite the comforter of the bed I've been laying in for about a month.
"Seya," He puts emphasis on my name, "Just eat something, please, just a couple crackers or something." He says.
"Fine." I mutter out. He sighs and leaves the room to only enter a few minutes later with a box of crackers.
"You have to eat at least five while I'm in here than I'll leave." He says sitting on a bean bag he brought into the room to watch me at night. I would start screaming in the middle of a night and I'd yell at him if he tried touching me.
I grab the box of crackers my stomach growling at the scent of the food. I'm honest to god not hungry at all, just my stupid stomach thinks it is. I stick a cracker into mouth making me want to puke instantly. I hate the taste of food, it makes me just want to scream at the taste. I chew it up until it's almsot a liquid.
"Swallow." Chris says making me glare and let the food slowly slide down my throat.
This happens as I eat four more of the crackers.
"Okay, you can go now. I ate five of them." I say handing the box to Chris.
"Nah, I'm going to leave them in here just in case you get a bit hungry." Chris shrugs standing up. I stand up out of the bed and walking over to him trying to hand him the box.
"No, Sere- Seya. I'm leaving them here." He says shoving them back at me.
"God dammit Chris just take the fucking crackers!" My voice raises.
"No, Seya, keep the fucking crackers! This is bull shit! You need to eat! You're fucking skinner than me!" He raises his voice also.
"I don't fucking care Chris! I don't matter so why should it matter that I eat?!" At this point I'm yelling. "LET ME FUCKING WITHER AWAY!" I scream feeling tears fall down my cheeks. He looks at me sadly.
"I'm sorry." I whisper looking down. He wraps his arms around me enveloping me in warmth. I wrap my arms around him crying into his hoodie, for the tenth time this week.
This happens reguraly. Not about the same thing everyday but we argue a bunch. I apologize for me yelling and then we hug and he lets me lay back in bed.
I feel his lips on my head planting a soft kiss in my ratty hair.
"Will you come watch a movie with me?" He asks softly.
"Chris, I don't really feel like it." I mutter.
"Not even if Rick or Balz comes over?" He asks. I shake my head a bit trying to suck in his warmth as much as possible. He sighs and lets go of my small body.
"If you need anything I'll be in the living room." He says quietly and walks to the door. His hand grabs the knob twisting it open and exciting the room closing the door slowly behind him. I go back to the bed and lay down curling into my sheets.
****
"Seya, I'm going to go to go chill with Anthony for a while, alright?" Chris says through the door.
We havent talked in almost two weeks. He'd leave food at the table beside my bed, I'd eat it so he'd be satisfied then I'd just go to the bathroom and make it come back up.
"Have fun." I say. I hear his feet clomp down the hall and the front door opening and closing.
I hop out of the bed and walk slowly over to the door. My hands turn the knob that I haven't turned in it seems months. The door flies open as I tip toe down the hallway to Chris's office. I slide into the room barley touching the door. My feet pad across the wood floor to the desk in the corner. I smirk a bit seeing the laptop on. I click onto twitter logging into my profile. I click the notifications and am lead to a page with multiple names sending me mentions. I read through a few that make me a bit sad.
I scroll and scroll seeing a bunch of people telling me to kill myself for making Andy depressed or to just die because I'm worthless. Tears immediatly slide down my cheeks the further down I go. Hundreds of hundreds messages sending me hate. I whipe my face with my sleeve scratching at my face a bit.
"A-N-D-Y-B-V-B" I whisper as I type the letters into the search box. His face pops up causing more tears to spill down my cheeks. I click on his account and am brought face to face with photos of beer and girls all around. There's photos of him and CC making out with girls.
I start to hyperventalate as I see a tweet that kills me.
@andybvb: Haha who fucking needs love?! Fuck Serenade . She could fall of the face of the earth and I wouldn't care. Didn't need her anways.. Ladies hit me up ;)
My fingers start to type before I can even think.
I push myslef out of the chair and walk to the bathroom. I scramble through the many pill bottles in the cabnit trying to find something good. A bunch of pills fall out into the sink. I sob at the mess I'm making as my hands shake uncontrolably. I scoop some of the pills into my palm and stick them inside my mouth remembering the tweet causing my heart to crash and burn again. I turn the sink on swallowing water down with the pills. I turn the faucet on for the bath tub. As I wait for the water to warm up I throw the sweater off of my skin revealing the white bra and black undies. I cringe at the sight of my atrocious body. I step inside the full bathtub and slide my body into the tub. I close my eyes letting my head slide into the water.
*Chris*
I open the door to my house hopeing to hear the sound of my TV playing something but there's nothing but utter silence. I can't help but let a sigh escape my lips. This has been so hard on me, I can't even tell you. Watching the girl that you're basically in love with deteriorate into nothing. It's killing me. Yes, I'm in fucking love with her, it's so wrong but I am.
I throw my keys on the kitchen table and walk down the hall to my office. I flip the light on and see my laptop lit. I raise an eyebrow a bit confused at that. I walk over to the laptop to see it's on Seya's twitter. I read the top tweet.
@serenadeinwhite: I'm sorry everyone. I'm sorry I've been such a terrible person to all of you. I'm only human. But it's time for me to say goodbye. Goodbye everyone, I'm sorry I failed you. I hope everyone will forgive me after this. I'm sorry, goodbye.
My heart starts to quicken at that. I run out into the hallway and down to her room throwing the door open, she's not in there. I run back down the hall to the bathroom. I try to open the door but it's locked. I pound on the door but there's no answer.
"Seya! Let me in! Please!" I yell. Still nothing. I feel tears start to drip down my cheeks. My heart has completly stopped. I kick the door until it finally opens. I quickly enter the bathroom to see her body lifless and pale floating in the water.
"Seya!" I yell and run over to the water pulling her out as the water splashes. I sit her down on the floor and hold her in my arms tightly.
"No please, Serenade." I sob holding her tightly to my body. I brush her hair out of her face rocking her body in my arms. "Please." I whisper.
"Chris?!" Someone yells. I sob harder at the name. I hear pounding footsteps until they stop.
"Chris what's going on?!" I hear someone shout.
"Call an ambulance!" I yell rocking her in my arms my own tears spilling onto her cheeks. I feel my phone buzzing inside my pocket but ignore it as I stare at the lifeless face of the girl I love. Her body is so small, her cheek bones are so distinct.
"Seya, no." I whisper shaking my head and press my forehead to hers.
"Chris ." I hear the person again saying.
"No no no."Is all I say as I rock her more.
"Chris, they said they'll be here soon." The person says. I squeeze her body to my chest as a persons hand is on my back.
