I press the bottle up against my lips again, letting the once stinging liquid slide down my throat. My legs tangle further into the sheets of Chris's bed.
I've honestly been a mess, I drink every night till I pass out, I cry until I basically force myself to start drinking, and the liquids seem to always dissaper quickly.
I hear a loud noise coming from outside the room. My heart starts quickening in pace as feet stomp towards the room, sounds like boots. I curl up into the blankets pulling the comforter over my head. I put the lid on the liquor hugging the bottle to me tightly. My eyes squeeze shut tightly as I hear Chris's door open. A few tears make their way down my cheeks as the boots make their way over to the bed. My heart beet quickens as I see a shawdow hanging over the bed.
"Seya?" A voice whispers lifting the comforter a bit revealing Chris's face. I instantly throw the blanket off of me wrapping my arms around him tightly, the bottle in my hand still. He chuckles a bit wrapping his arms around me, squeezing tightly.
"I-Ive missed you." I stutter and slur out.
"I've missed you too. Is everything all right?" He whispers rubbing my back a bit. I nod and bury my face into his neck.
"Why do you smell like alcohol?" He aks pulling away from the hug a bit causing me to groan. Here we go back to mommy mode. I somehow get the bottle behind my back without him seeing it. I shrug a bit.
"I haven't taken a shower in a few days." I mumble.
"Have you been sleeping in my bed also?" He raises an eyebrow making me grin sheepishly. He chuckles a bit and pokes my side.
"I guess that means I'm going to have to force you to take a shower then?" He raises an eyebrow making me giggle a bit.
"No, please. I'll melt!" I giggle more making him laugh.
"Want to do anything tonight?" Chris asks sitting beside me on the bed. I move the bottle to where he can't see it, crossing my fingers tightly that he doesn't notice it.
"Like what?" I ask playing with my shirt.
"We can go get some wings then come back and watch The Shining?" He asks with a smile.
"That sounds wonderful." I smile a bit. I know he wanted to say pizza and I also know why he didn't say it.
"Okay, let me get a shower and we'll go pick some wings up?" He asks.
"I should probably take a shower also." I mumble making him chucklle and stand. I push the bottle back behind my back as he walks over to the bathroom in his room. As soon as he shuts the door to the bathroom I stand and run to out of the room, the bottle of tequilla in my hands. I swiftly walk to the kitchen grabbing the couple of bottles of alcohol off the counter and take them to my room. I slide them underneath my bed making sure that the only way he'd find them is if he looked for them. I take a drink out of the open bottle and tighten the lid on standing back up. I grab some fresh clothes from the closet and walk to the bathroom. I close the door behind me, I'd lock it but there's no longer a lock on the door.
I strip from my stinky clothes and start the water up. I bet Chris is enjoying the cold water now that I turned the other faucet on. I step inside the warm water letting the droplets slide down my filthy body. I really haven't taken a shower in a few days leaving me smelling like shit and the smell of alcohol distinct. I really don't know how he just let that go. Maybe he thinks I went out and wherever I went had alcohol. Who the hell knows.
* a month later *
My fingers slide back and forth between the two notes as I sniffle a bit holding a bottle to my chest.
"Do you still care?" I sing quietly.
"Or do I sit here, runnning in place with my hands in my hair," I whisper clenching the bottle tightly hitting the keys more and more. "And what if I said my friends, hate my guts, cause all I ever talk about is how it was?" I sing out and then take a drink from the bottle. I remove my hand from the piano and grip the bottle with both hands closing my eyes tightly. More droplets of the salty water fall from my eyes and onto my hands.
I kick myself away from the piano taking another drink from the bottle, this time not just a sip but a couple swallows full. There's a knock on the door but I don't stop drinking the alcohol, I'm going to drink it until the bottle is dry.
"Seya, what the fuck are you doing?!" Chris's voice filling my ears. More tears seap out of my eyes as I keep chugging the Tequilla. Someone tries grabbing the bottle causing me to freak out and swing my arms around, tears and liquor flying around.
The next thing I know Chris is on the floor, head bleeding while I sob next to him. I touch his face lightly and then pull my shirt off pressing it against his head, sobering up eneough to the point I realize the situation I'm in is very bad. I stand up, my limbs shaking and my eyes not one hundered percent yet. Crying and drinking is not a good thing.
I walk into the kitchen and quickly pick up the phone dialing the one number probably any person from the USA know, 911.
***
I sit holding Chris's hand tightly in mine as the steady beeping of his heart moniter beeps. I sniffle again for what seems like the millionth time since I've been in this room. Chris is asleep, he had to get four staples in his head. The bottle cut a long gash but thankefully, not deep eneough to do permanant damage to him.
I screwed up big time, bigger than trying to take my own life. I shouldn't have been drinking and I shouldn't have let Chris see me at that point in time. I fucking regret ever going to stupid LA. I hate what I've done to so much people, I hate that I'm the cause of everyones problems. I hate it and I want it to stop.
More tears fall down my cheeks as the door to the hospital room opens. I look up to see Ricky coming through the door. The guys have been here it's just they've been coming and going. I've been sitting here all night, not budging from my spot.
"Do you want to get some sleep?" He asks pulling up a chair beside me.
"No, I want Chris to wake up and I want everyone's life's to go back to the way they where before they met me." I say looking at Chris again.
"Well, the first thing is going to happen soon, but the second thing, we don't want it to. You're fucking awesome wether you belive it or not. Yeah, you've been a little down but you have major excuses. Chris told me that you hadn't taken your pills for three weeks so you're going to have major mood swings." Ricky says. I sigh a bit and squeeze my eyes closed.
"But it's not fare that you guys have to deal with my B.S." I mutter.
"Yeah, and it's not fare that you have to deal with our B.S. either. You're a girl and you're aloud to be a bitch sometimes." I chuckle and shake my head.
"You guys don't have B.S. anywhere near as bad as mine." I say causing him to shrug.
"So? We're just trying to help you, Seya. We love you to pieces and don't want to see you sad that's why we deal with your mood swings sometimes." He says quietly. I nod a bit and sigh again.
"Thanks, Rick." I look over at him.
"Anytime, booger." He grins making me laugh a bit.
"Would you two talk a little bit quieter." I hear Chris's farmiliar voice groan. I look back over at him to see his eyes squinting. I immedatley hug him tightly causing him to groan.
"Sorry, sorry." I say and sit back down in my chair.
"It's okay, don't be sorry." He replies.
