I stare at the door as it slams shut my heart beating quickly as my breathing quickens. I make my wya back to my dressing room and step in seeing Andy still there.
"You ruin my life!" I shout at him. "You're like a fucking, a fucking disease I can't get rid of!" Tears start sliding down my cheeks as I stomp a little for emphasis on my words. "Why can't you let me be happy?! I was fucking happy! Now my life is gone, because of you! Again!" I fall to the floor, my hands shaking. His boots clomp on the floor as the quiet world spins around me, it feels like.
Chris is gone, the one person that saved my life more than once is gone. He hates me and it's my fault. Why is everything that is fucked up happens because of me?! Am I such that bad of a person that I have to ruin everything?!
I feel Andy's arms wrapping around me.
"I hate you!" I try hitting his chest but it's such a weak hit. I'm suprised I could even hit him that hard. i'm so drained.
We sit there in silence with his arms around me tightly as I cry a bit into his chest. I cannot lie, I miss him so badly. I miss his warm chest, I miss his sweet scent of vanilla and smoke. I miss his eyes, I miss the way he holds me. I miss his lips against mine, I miss his deep voice. I just miss him so much and it just make sme want to cry even harder.
"Hey, Seya, you're on stage in about ten minutes. Your roadies are setting up for you." A voice shouts through the door making me jump a bit. I cough slightly and then sniffle looking up at Andy. His face is in deep concentration as he looks back at me.
"I'm sorry." I mutter quietly biting my lip and look the other direction. I need to learn to take my anger out on other things besides people, it makes both of us feel like shit.
He stays quiet, not saying anything. I look over at him to see if he's still thinking, but he's looking at me. His face moves towards mine as his soft lips press against mine. I put my hands on his cheeks kissing back. My heart quickens a bit as our lips slide against each others with such ease, reminding me of how we where.
He seperates our lips and looks into my eyes, my hands still on his cheeks.
"I still love you and I don't care what you say to me or do because I will always love you, no matter what." He says softly making my heart burn a bit.
"I love you," I whisper and close my eyes tightly. His lips press a warm kiss on my forehead, his lip ring pressing against my skin. He squishes me tightly to him.
"I-I have to get my voice warmed up and my face cleaned off." I whisper opening my eyes. He nods at me and helps me stand.
I walk over to the mirror thats sitting on the wall and wipe my face a bit. Thankfully there's only one makeup stream and its only smuged a bit. I get the grey stream wiped off my face and let the makeup stay smuged, it looks punk rock?
I start warming my voice up having Andy smile and watch me as I do. It's kind of awkward because I never let anyone watch me warm up because my voice sounds so terrible and the noises I make are weird. But for some reason I'm letting him stay, which is awkward and weird.
"Seya, they're ready for you to go on." The same voice says from outside the room. I nod even though he can't see me.
I leave the room without telling Andy goodbye and quickly walk to side stage. I hear my name being chanted making my heart flutter. I see my acoustic and keyboard on stage and just walk on making the crowd scream, which in turn makes me smile a bit.
"Hello loves," I say into the mic plopping myself down on my stool. "most of you know who I am right?" I say into the mic, hearing my voice echo throughout the large room thats filled with people. The crowds screams in reply to my question.
