A Trip Inside My Head

9

She looked at me with a pretty smile before finishing, "we only met two days ago but it felt like forever, it felt longer and I felt happy mother, I haven't felt this way since you and father-" she couldn't control her tears anymore trying to hide her teary sad face, I took her in my arms and hugged her so tight I didn't wanna let go, she was probably a little ashamed of crying in front of me but I didn't mind and wiped off her tears.

"It was really nice meeting your parents" I said sarcastically, "I think they're so lucky to give birth to such an amazing brave person like you my Queen" I could feel the her tears on my chest, she cried a little harder and I held myself from doing the same, "let it out Leia, you don't have to imprison your feelings" she hugged me tighter

"I- I miss them, they left me in the most unexpected way and the hardest time of my life, I'm hardly handling all this it's too much..." she sobbed

"Is this the first time you'd talk about it?

"Y-you're the first person to hear those words from me, I could never open up to anyone"

"Wanna know what my special place looks like?"

"You have a special place too?" she looked at me with her crying face again and I ran my hand down her soft cheeks wiping off her tears

"Yes, I never thought I did" she stopped crying and let out a little sigh

"I don't think I can ever see it, I can't go to your world" damn I wanna kiss her sadness away

"Who said my special place is there?"

"What? Where is it then?"

"I hope you wouldn't mind sharing this one with me because I'll have it as my special place too"

A little tear fell from the corner of her eye, "I would love to share it with you Alexia, but... It's unfair, I can come here whenever I want but you... I mean after you leave-"

I shut her up by covering her mouth with my hand, "I will carry this memory with me forever your highness, don't worry about it"

We hugged in silence for a while before she said her goodbyes and walked back to Kylo, she looked tired so I rode the horse and she sat in the back hugging me the whole way, the cemetery wasn't so far from the castle but I wished it was so I could spend more time out there with her.

Leia fell instantly asleep once we got back to the castle, I looked through her mother's vinyls and found Pink Floyd 's "Another Brick In The Wall" so I played it and lied on the couch with a stack of books in my hand, the Queen's mother had such a good taste in music. Damn how I wish I could take a picture of her right now, if only I knew how to draw at least I would be able to see her whenever I start missing her, but what would I do of I miss her all the time?

I'm watching her sleep and I guess it's my turn to lose control over my tears, I never cried for anyone before, the only reason I ever cried was because of that family I have, I never cared about it though and the only thing I had in my mind was working my ass off to leave them without turning back, but now that I left I have to go back.

The Queen has such a sweet way of waking me up, she still had that sad look on her face and I wanted to change it, I never got to ask her why she kept me in her room when there's practically dozens of rooms all around the castle, but I'm glad I got to stay here waking up in this bed and seeing her in front of me is something I wish I could have for a lifetime, who said I wanna go back to the shitty world I came from anyway?

"Good morning your highness, you slept well?"

"Yes but... I don't think you did" she had an angry look at her face I've never seen before, still cute "the bed is big enough to carry us both you know"

"I didn't wanna wake you up, I was listening to music while reading and fell asleep on the couch"

"I see..."

I stepped closer to her studying her facial expressions, was she angry at me for not sleeping next to her?

"Are you okay?" stupid question

"Are you?" she's totally angry at me

"Did I do or say something wrong?" I didn't know what else to ask

"You're leaving... Everything is settled"

"Is that why you're angry with me?"

"I'm not angry with you Alexia, I just... I woke up in a bad mood"

"You had a bad dream?" I had one too, and it's currently happening to me, leaving this place and going back to my world is a fucking nightmare

"Kind of, you... uh, you need to take a shower and put back your clothes, I got them fixed for you, you can't go back wearing those" great, I can't even keep some of her stuff

"Can I at least take the coat?" I sound desperate

"Sure, it must be cold in there" she looked worried, "you said you walked for a while before the big fall, do you have any idea where you were?"

"No I don't, my father drove for minutes that day because we were going to my uncle's house which is 40 minutes away, and I left the car only 10 minutes after we moved but I walked for a long time so I have to walk back"

"You might get lost again"

"I will try to make a call, my dad is a famous businessman" who might leave me in the streets

"Promise me you'll be fine Alexia, please"

"I promise you my Queen", I've never made a promise before

We had breakfast together, I showered and put my clothes on getting ready to go back to that stupid reality, Leia said I can leave once I'm ready but I don't think I will ever be.

The guards are already standing by the door waiting for the Queen's word to take me to the portal that will get me back to my world, she has been standing in the balcony for minutes looking at the sky silently.

"I guess this is goodbye your highness" worst moment of my life

"I'm not that good with goodbyes, I can't go with you to the portal but my guards will"

"That's fine" I really wish she did I would kidnap her and take her with me

We're standing in front of each other not saying anything, but our eyes are exchanging a million words and emotions, I can't just walk away...

Leia handed over her arm to give me a handshake, I held her hand thinking of every moment we spent together, it wasn't enough in fact I can never get enough of her.

It felt like time just stopped and the atmosphere was suddenly warm, it smells like jasmine again, so sweet and warm I can feel my heart playing drums.

We've been like this for what felt like hours, one of the guards is knocking on the door and I already said my goodbyes I shouldn't be dramatic but I can't just walk away from the only person who made me feel alive.

"You have to go-" I interrupted her with an unexpected kiss on those soft lips of her, damn those sweet tasty lips, I kissed the Queen and then I walked away, I'm walking away from the girl I love.