A Trip Inside My Head

15

We're still hitting the road, no one said a word since the last time my father and I spoke outside the car so it feels a little awkward, I was looking through the window trying not to think about those things again, the 'it was all unexpected but I fell in love with a Queen from another world that I might never see again' kind of things.

The car randomly stopped in the middle of nowhere, I'm staring at the shinning moon that's breathtakingly lingering in the dark sky, it always gave me that fuzzy and warm feeling, I couldn't help but think about that night at the cemetery with the Queen, great now I'm thinking about all those times I spent with Leia.

The guards opened the doors and walked out of the vehicle after officer douchebag, my father stayed inside so I did the same until they dragged me out, they could've just asked!

Here I am, blindfolded and uncuffed, I don't think that's how it works... I got pushed forward to move we walked for a few minutes, the guards were whispering the whole time but I wasn't focused on them, my thoughts were with what's gonna happen next when my father reads the notebook.

I practically wrote everything in it, starting with my childhood to how I got to meet Leia and all the details, I wanted him to understand what and how things happened but now that I think of it, he will know everything about me, not to mention that he shares everything with my mother.

What a catastrophy.

Officer douchebag turned to have 'Dustin' for a name, they were talking about some stupid show the whole way, I felt relieved once they stopped talking but they went back to the whispering.

"It's time" Dustin douchebag said, I couldn't see anything around me but since my father stayed in the car then you can tell how bad this is.

I felt two hands grabbing both my arms moving me forward again, this is boring me to death. Without a word they suddenly let go of me, I'm still feeling cold even though I'm wearing a jacket they gave me earlier, I'm standing here somewhere I don't know where, I feel everything and yet I feel nothing until I felt both at once, I received a punch to the chest that threw me away, it took me a minute to realize what was going on, I was falling again.

My chest hurts and so is my head and every bone in my body, my face is still covered I didn't bother to take that thing off of it, I honestly can't believe I'm still alive, or am I?

I opened my eyes and my face was uncovered this time, I don't remember how I lost consciousness earlier after the punch and the fall, everything's blurry but I can clearly recognize this place, the last place I would ever expect to be in.

Her bed.

The Queen's bed.

I couldn't control my rage, trying to stand up I flipped the table next to me with food in it, yeah fuck hunger and fuck everyone, I'd rather starve to death than stay here, who am I kidding? I wish I can spend the rest of my miserable life here with Leia, but my stupid ego won't let me show my feelings, oh and not to mention the spirits and that old crap they believe in, with all respect though.

"How are you feeling?" my heart skipped a beat after hearing her voice, I saw Leia's figure with the corner of my eye standing next to the bed, my legs were too weak to lift me up from the floor, I don't even know how I got here.

"Great, I'm great" can't she see that there's blood all over me?

"Why did you throw your food away? you should eat, I already called the nurse to come take care of you, you can also use the shower and you know where everything is so just-"

"Shut up.." I painfully stood up looking at her trying to control my tears, "I don't need anything from you, leave me alone"

"Alexia please don't be stubborn, you're so hurt-"

"Oh really? what are you my babysitter now?"

"Get mad at me as long as you want, but please let me take care of you" she looked worried, ran in my direction.

"No thank you, I'd prefer the nurse" I realized how shitty I was and need help.

"Oh really?"

"You heard me"

"This isn't a good time to fight, I'll go" damn I missed her so much, a part of me wants to slap her but another part wants to have her between my arms, but I'm standing here looking away trying to avoid her.

I took a shower after I ate and took the meds Magdalena gave me, yup that same bitch witch, she said I shouldn't make any effort or move at all after getting my bones back to place, don't ask me about that it hurt so bad I think she enjoyed seeing me in pain.

Tchaikovsky's "Waltz Of The Flowers" was playing when I woke up from a nap I didn't know I took, the music was coming from the vinyl player, turning around I saw the Queen laying on the couch that's not so far from the bed. All I could see was her back since she had her face turned to the other side.

I'm already standing on my feet struggling with my steps, I don't know what I'm doing now just walking towards Leia, she's sleeping and here I am falling on my knees to the floor next to her, and I was thinking;

"I was never this weak"... "I never cried like this, I wish I could tell you how much I love you"... "I really wish there was no such thing as whatever is it that's separating us because.. being away from you hurts more than anything else, I can bear any sort of pain but I can't go a minute without you, it's.. killing me.."

I suddenly felt two arms around me holding me so tight, it was later that I finally realized I wasn't talking to myself and the Queen wasn't asleep, I couldn't look at her with my shitty crying face so she sat on the floor next to me.

"I.. I love you too Alexia" she held my face between her palms wiping off my tears, "please don't cry"

I faced her and my sadness vanished in a blink of an eye, staring at each other in silence but our eyes spoke a million words, I couldn't help but kiss her and I could see a tear falling off her beautiful face, I stopped for a second to wipe it off before I kissed her again.

Leia took me by the hand and we walked back to bed, she's smiling at me and I feel like my world is finally complete, I hugged her again because I really missed it.

I missed being home.