A Trip Inside My Head

11

It smells like jasmine.

I'm waking up with a terrible headache trying to get myself together and remember all the details about all the last crazy things I did.

Turning to the other side of the bed, Leia is looking at me in both confusion and worry while I'm looking at her with my eyes shining wishing I could jump on her with endless kisses and hug her for an eternity. I missed her so much.

"They f- found you in the woods unconscious and brought you here..."

"Am I dreaming again?"

"Maybe I am"

"My head is spinning, it hurts"

"You must've fallen again, do you wanna talk about what happened?"

"I did fall this time, I jumped"

"What are you saying?"

"I wanted to come here again, I was going crazy and everyone was treating me like a sick minded person"

"You hurt yourself and put yourself through all this trouble to get back here?"

"I'm not sure of anything, it was Friday night just hours ago and- and the last time I came here was a Thursday and I... I'm going crazy, is this just a dream? How come I feel like it's so real" I got so anxious and furious and couldn't stop talking

"Calm down please-"

"I can't! I just... I wanted to understand what's happening to me even if it was gonna cost me my life" I can't believe I'm tearing up now

"Oh hey, look at me" she's wiping off my tears looking at me with a little smile, I wouldn't mind dying between her arms

"I'm sorry for being such a pain in the ass"

"I don't really know what that one feels like, but I'm sure you're not" I couldn't help but smile back and my smile turned into a laugh

"Oh look who's tryna be sarcastic!"

"I learned that from you actually, you'd always make me laugh no matter how bad I felt" because I'm a loser who uses sarcasm to hide her feelings

"Damn I must've really lost my mind for it to be able to make all this up!"

"You're not crazy Alexia, you've been here before and you stayed over for days, it's all real"

"But- they said I disappeared for a night and they found me the next day"

"You fell to another dimension, time works differently here"

"So I'm not just imagining all this your highness?"

"Do you feel it's all fake?"

"No... ugh stop being so tricky answering me with another question! I got really frustrated since I woke up in the hospital"

"How bad was it?"

"Uh they said I fell to the head and I need to rest for at least a week and take my meds"

"But you just didn't care about it and jumped back here right?" I can tell she's angry

"That's correct your highness, I'm not even gonna deny it but... I was going crazy, I felt lost again and it was way worse than hitting my head"

"How are you supposed to get any better now? you said you jumped this time?"

"Yes, and I have my meds somewhere in my backpack don't yell at me I get nervous"

"I am not yelling!!" she totally is

"You are, you're doing it right now, do you want me to yell at you too?" I wouldn't but it would be funny

"Why would you yell at me? I wasn't the one who jumped from a high place and hurt her head"

"Makes sense... it was a crazy decision but I did it because nothing else felt right"

"What if it wasn't the portal you jumped into and you passed out for days there?"

"But I didn't" I'm smiling, she might strangle me to death, "as you can see I'm right here, it worked!"

"Oh and you're so happy about it!"

"I'm pretty reckless and I've got nothing to lose anyway, I was either gonna come here or else..."

"You are crazy after all"

"True, I'm all crazy about y- uh doing insane things and um so how are you doing? since time isn't the same as where I came from days passed here"

"I am... fine" she still looks confused and worried

"Are you mad at me for coming here all of a sudden?" I had to ask her somehow

"No, you're wrong" she's looking into my eyes with her green ones, "I got angry because you're hurt"

"I'm okay now" I should hold myself from saying something stupid, "you have every right to send me back to my dimension, as I said I was going crazy and I needed to understand what happened"

"Do you wanna go back?" what kind of question is that? if it was up to me I would stay here for the rest of my life

"No" I can't add anything more

"Let me get you something to eat, I'm sure you haven't put anything in that mouth of yours since you left" oh come on!! seriously? she's obviously teasing me again.

We ate together, I took my meds and lied down while she played a Mozart's vinyl, I can't stop looking at her and I don't want to, I'm being really stupid I mean I needed one more chance to meet her and tell her how I feel but now I'm sitting here staring at her like an idiot.

She's lying in bed with me reading a book, I took my backpack looking for my notebook to see the last things I wrote on it, Leia put her book away and turned her stunning face to look at me;

"What is that?"

"Uh it's my notebook, I write whatever I feel or think about in it, I also used it to draw a map so I wouldn't get lost"

"But you got lost anyway and came here"

"That was my plan at first place" I smirked "the whole point was to get lost here again"

The Queen is smiling at me again and I can't take it anymore, I'm either gonna hug her or cry in front of her, maybe both.

"You know..." is she thinking about the same thing as me? "you came to my world and left it in the most unexpected way"

"Well, I literally fell... "

"I know you did"

"Do you also know that I fell for you my Queen?" that's it I'm not gonna hide anything from her.