You. (Yato x Reader) [Noragami]

To Descend or Ascend

My fate was to be determined not by myself, but by someone I loathed.

At this point, though, there was nothing I could do. It was up to me to help myself but I didn't even have the capabilities to defend myself. I had no special abilities with fighting so why would I even put up a fight?

Nora and Fujisaki had stepped out of the room to get the preparations underway. My whole mind was going through the different scenarios that could possibly happen to me. What if I died? What if I didn't die? What would I become?

I paced my room and kept thinking of the worst. My mind then flashed a memory of Yato smiling at me for a split second before I remembered what I was preparing myself for.

"Yato...." I whispered to myself. He would never forgive me, I just had that feeling. Who would forgive someone after doing something just like what I had done? All the worst things that could happen in life tend to happen every time I'm around him. I can only blame myself for being such a distraction to him. After all, that IS what Nora had called me.

I had some time to kill before Fujisaki would take me to meet my fate, so I decided it best to reminisce about every thing that happened recently.

I sat with my knees brought up to my chest and my head buried in my legs to hide my face that was shedding tears from my eyes. I thought about how Yato took me to his secret place and I remembered that promise that I made him.

"Do you promise that you'll stay with me no matter what?"

"I promise, Yato."

I broke that promise. Physically, I couldn't stay with him because I cared too much for him. I didn't just care for him, I was unconditionally in love with him. My heart however, could never leave his side and although I knew that was not what he had meant, I knew that's what I had meant.

I wouldn't have traded it for the world to be honest. Yeah, my life would've been much easier had I not met any of these guys but it was bound to happen considering the bloodline that runs in my family. It was fate.

My head snapped up from my knees as I realized something. My fate was not meant to be determined by someone who thinks he could control my life. My fate was to be determined by one person only, and that person is myself.

"(F/n)." Fujisaki's voice called from the other side of my door. "We're ready for you. Please come down in the next 10 minutes." He walked away after that.

I wiped the few tears that fell from my face and got up to look in the mirror to fix myself up. I walked out of my room to face a familiar evil face. We shared a brief moment and only stared at each other until she turned away and started walking with me following close behind her. I was led down a hallway which led to a room that looked similar to where Fujisaki's experiments were taking place.

Now that it was destroyed, he found a new area which was not that much of an upgrade. I saw him standing at a table, looking hard at a piece of paper right in front of him. "Ahh, there she is. I hate to be such a mood killer but it really brings me ease knowing how panicked Yato must be at this moment." He chuckled.

"I'd rather not talk about that...." I told him. He said nothing but continued to smile for a further awkward moment between us. Once that moment was over, he went back to the paper in front of him and left me with Nora to lead me wherever I was supposed to go once again.

I was led to a room that was painted black. The room was lit from the hallway lights and a few candles that were already lit inside of the room, aside from that, it was pitch black in here. In the middle of a room there was a wooden chair which Nora indicated for me to sit down on. I took a deep breath and went to go sit down on it. "Stay here and don't move. We'll be back in just a second." She said and closed the door behind her.

Once again I was alone for a short amount of time. My mind clouded itself with thoughts of Yato, Hiyori, Yukine, and everyone else again. I looked around the room as if I was going to find some kind of answer but I found nothing, obviously.

I felt like my whole world was about to fall apart. Tears started falling down my face and my chest and throats started burning. Only I can decide my fate. No other person can or will do that for me. I kept saying this over and over to myself. Every time I kept saying it though, I felt like I was only making things worse for myself. My head started hurting and I was uncontrollably hyperventilating. I squeezed my eyes shut and kept repeating the words to myself as if I was going manic.

Eventually, something started happening with the atmosphere around me. Blurred vision occurred, my whole body started trembling, I literally felt like I was going to explode. My body continued doing this for a few moments until Fujisaki and Nora had rushed in the room to see what was going on.

"What's going on with me?!" I screamed at them. Fujisaki looked surprised for once in his life at what was happening before him. "I never thought it could happen like this, I expected to do more to get something out of you."

"What do you mean 'to do more?'" I edged on, but he wasn't going to fall for it...I could see it in his face. He knew exactly what was going to happen.

"Well, that's not important anymore. What's important is that my work is done and it hasn't even started. Keep this going and I'll have what  I want in no time." His evil smile appeared upon his face. 

I'm going to descend, aren't I?

My body continued to tremble for the next few moments and my vision started getting blurry to the point where it started clouding with nothing but black. I couldn't let this happen, Fujisaki would have what he wanted and there's no way that my friends would see me the same.

I had to keep fighting, especially for my family and for my great-great-grandmother. She depends on you. (A/N: If you get this reference I love you so much.)

I closed my eyes and focused on calming my mind and myself down. Nothing good could come out of this if I continued to panic like this. I started thinking of things that made me happy and of course the usual people that are always around me had popped into my mind at that instant. Once again, I felt my tears fall down my cheeks and my mind was in its own world at this point. I no longer knew what was happening around me and all that I was focused on was Yato's face which was etched inside my mind.

Then everything turned black and white.

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IMPORTANT

You guys, I apologize that this chapter took MONTHS for me to update. I couldn't find it in my heart to continue on with the story as I had literally a TON of reasons that wasn't updating as fast as I wanted to and yes, being lazy was one of them. Of course, I had other reasons. Thank you to all the readers who still read this story even though the plot is everywhere at this point. I'll keep trying to do my best for you because I found solace in writing again after this period of hell that I just went through in the last few months.

I hope you liked this chapter. As always, feel free to give me feedback of any kind, vote, and comment on this story if you want. I'll see you all in the next chapter <3