Fleurs Captives (Joshler)

7. Eglantine Rose

Eglantine Rose:
meaning- a wound to heal

Start the song. It's The Way It Ends by Landon Pigg.

Josh and Jenna couldn't even make eye contact the next day. They'd slept in her bed after, crying themselves to sleep on opposite sides of the mattress. Even at breakfast, where Papa gave each of the flowers more food than usual, they sat as far away from each other as possible. The weight of what they'd had to do for the flowers to eat was too heavy, and Josh couldn't shoulder it.

Papa didn't seem to be as concerned about Jenna isolating herself as he was about Josh doing so. Josh wouldn't let Debby sit in his lap, and he shrunk away from Nicole whenever she tried to touch him. For the first time since Josh had been brought to Papa's house, the flowers were dismissed to the garden without him.

"Darlings, why don't you go out and play while I talk to your brother?" Papa decided as the girls finished eating.

The plates sitting before Josh and Jenna were relatively untouched, and Josh knew she felt just as nauseous as he did. Although they both knew they'd done the right thing, they'd been forced to give up whatever comfort they'd found with each other before. How could Josh be reminded of his mom or sisters around Jenna now that they'd...done what they did.

Maybe Papa was right about adults. That's what they'd become last night, wasn't it? They'd torn each other's innocence to shreds, soiling their childhoods beyond repair. Something in both of them had died last night, and it couldn't ever be revived. There was no remedy for adulthood, and there was no going back to how things were before.

The flowers cleared out, and Josh pretended it didn't kill him that Jenna walked in a wide arc around him to avoid coming into contact with him. He hadn't hurt her. She hadn't hurt him. Yet somehow, they were both fatally wounded in some part of themselves that they couldn't even locate.

As soon as the door shut behind them, Papa moved to the chair beside Josh's, sighing when Josh's gaze remained fixed on the table top.

"It didn't help," Papa observed. "You're still unhappy."

Josh didn't respond, but tears gathered in his eyes. He felt like he was going to throw up. He wanted to throw up. He wanted to purge every memory of last night out of his head. He wanted to chug a bottle of fairy serum and never wake up from the amnesia it gave him. Of all the girls in this house, Jenna had been the most like a sister to him. She'd filled some sort of void that the fairy serum left behind when it took away crucial details about his actual family. He was absolutely hollow now, and he no longer had someone he could talk to about it.

"Perhaps you're still too young for that. You're still a child, aren't you?" Papa comforted softly, which helped a little.

Josh nodded although he was pretty sure he was either seventeen or nearly seventeen. He shouldn't be a child still, but that was all he'd had left to cling to. It was gone now, and now he was trapped in adulthood while sleeping in a nursery and being babied by his papa. No. Not his papa. Papa. The man called Papa. He still had a dad out there somewhere. A dad named...named.... Josh cried fully then. He couldn't remember. He didn't know who he was or where he was or how he'd ever regain control of his life, and hope was fading just as rapidly as his memory.

Papa hushed him gently, collecting him into a hug and rocking him gently. Josh sobbed against Papa's shoulder, his whole body shaking with the force of each exhale. His insides were crumbling away into nothing as Spanish moss cemented his organs together painfully. Rose thorns had permeated his heart, buried too deep to be removed. His heart was screaming for the comfort of people he couldn't remember, begging for the touch of a shadow in the corner of his ever-deteorating mind.

"I need to forget," Josh whimpered out. "Please let me forget. I can't do it. I can't be an adult already. I'm so scared. I don't want to be ruined."

Another whispered hush left Papa's thin lips as he continued to soothe Josh. "I can't control what you remember, oak. I'm sorry. If I give you more serum, I can't control what you forget. Why don't you go rest?"

"I can't," Josh sobbed out.

"You need to be around little boys like you, don't you?" Papa said thoughtfully. "You need to be a child again."

Fear shot through Josh at the thought of Papa taking more boys, but Papa didn't seem to notice his apprehension. He released Josh and stood, going to the window to look out at the garden.

"The Josephs should be here shortly. You could take Zackary and Jay to the-"

"Is Tyler coming?" Josh asked in a quiet voice.

That hope he'd abandoned last night beneath Jenna's sheets flickered in his chest. Tyler was kind and understanding. He wasn't hyper-masculine like Papa, and he wasn't feminine like the girls. He was just a boy like Josh. Tyler could help.

"You mean Tessa? She's coming. I thought you wanted to be around boys," Papa said in confusion.

"Tyler. I want Tyler," Josh insisted, taking in a shaky breath as he pushed his hair off of his forehead.

Papa nodded, looking a bit confused, but clearly being more concerned with his son's wellbeing than Tyler's gender. He walked back over to Josh, smoothing his hair back for him when the unruly curls slipped back onto his forehead. It was hard not to love Papa and feel like he was truly his father when he treated Josh with such gentle kindness. He sniffled as he looked up at the old man.

"The Josephs will be here soon," Papa repeated, sitting back down beside Josh.

Josh nodded, tugging at his sleeves and chewing his bottom lip anxiously. Before he could put much thought into it, he told the old man, "I love you, Papa."

The old man smiled, pulling Josh into a hug that made his mind and body relax. He was safe here. He was still just a child, and his papa wouldn't let the horrors of adulthood hurt him.

"I love you too, son," Papa told him softly.

Relief flooded Josh, and he knew he'd be okay. This only felt wrong because he'd slept with his sister, right? She wasn't his sister though. She just felt like his sister because...she was. If Papa was his father...but he wasn't. Was he? That meant Nicole was his sister too, and he'd done things like this with her millions of times. God, he felt guilty for that too. He'd touched two of his sisters, and he'd only had permission for one. Why did he only feel guilty for the one his papa had given him permission for? Did he feel guilty for both?

"I'm forgetting everything, Papa. It's scary," Josh said quietly.

His father nodded, rubbing his back softly as he held him close. "I know, son. That's okay. If you forget anything important, I'll remind you."

Josh nodded too. There was no use in fighting the fairy serum. Papa was his father now. The girls were his sisters, or whatever else Papa wanted them to be. There was no going back to Columbus from here. Josh would remain friends with Tyler until his family returned home in the Fall, but Josh would stay here with his new family. Papa would protect him.

The flowers had more to eat, and they were allowed more time in the garden. That was progress, right? Hopefully, Jenna would be pregnant soon, and the adult parts of Josh's life would go away. He could stay here with his papa and his sisters and just be a child. It was safe. It was okay. He just needed to recognize that.

He looked up when the Joseph's crossed the lawn, going straight for the garden. Papa squeezed his hand before letting him leave the house in search of Tyler. Josh was safe. He didn't need to be afraid. He was still just a little boy whose papa would protect him.