Fleurs Captives (Joshler)

20. Begonia

Begonia:
meaning- beware, a fanciful nature

***Trigger warnings for panic attacks, mentions of urine, slight self harm, and non- DDLB age regression.***

Wait to start the song.

It wasn't Papa who found Josh curled up in the fetal position on the floor, but feeling someone touch him scared Josh so much that he wet his pants as he sobbed and tried to get away. Jenna's voice was soft as she hushed him.

"It's just me. It's Jenna. It's okay. You're safe," she said softly, gathering him up into her arms despite the puddle of urine surrounding him as he sobbed helplessly.

"He's gonna kill me. I'm gonna die. I'm never gonna see my momma again. I'm gonna die," Josh sobbed out, feeling terror so intense that he couldn't even see straight.

Jenna hushed him again, rocking him gently. "He's not mad anymore, honey. He's just scared. He won't hurt you. I promise. I won't let him, and he doesn't want to anyways. He cried when he couldn't find you. He's a monster, but I think he really does love you in some weird and twisted way."

Footsteps descended down the stairs, and Josh yelped as he climbed into Jenna's lap, sobbing as he tried to get away from the source of the footsteps.

"Is he hurt?" He heard Papa's voice ask.

Although he could hear that Papa's voice was rough from crying, Josh was afraid. He clung to Jenna as tightly as he could, his entire body shaking.

"He's not hurt, but he peed his pants. I don't know how to calm him down," Jenna reported weakly. "He doesn't feel safe. He thinks you're going to kill him. I'm going to give him another bath, and then he's going to sleep in my room."

"I don't think-" Papa began, but Jenna cut him off, which surprised Josh so much that he stopped crying.

"Did that sound like a question to you? I'm not asking. I'm telling you that's what I'm doing. You're the reason he's terrified. You don't get a say right now," Jenna snapped, helping Josh to stand up and holding him upright as he stumbled alongside her.

He flinched when he passed Papa although the man didn't move. He didn't look at his dad, simply allowing his sister to lead him up the stairs. He cried the whole time she bathed him, and she couldn't calm him down. She didn't dress him, simply helping him into her bed despite his wet hair, and holding him close as she rubbed his back and spoke softly to him. He couldn't calm himself down for hours, sobbing uncontrollably as his fear continued to eat away at him, and it wasn't until well past three in the morning that he drifted off into a dream about his real father in Columbus.

He dreamt that he was a little boy, just learning to skateboard at a small park. He tumbled off of his board and onto the pavement, shredding his hands and knees. Before he even had time to start crying, his father was there, hugging him and telling him he had been doing such a great job.

He smiled widely at Josh as he said, "Failing is learning. It doesn't mean you can't do something, it just means that you are still learning. Once you stop failing at this, it means you're ready to learn something new. You've got to get back on your board first though. Can you do that?"

Despite Josh's trembling bottom lip, he nodded and stood up, climbing back onto his board. His dad watched him with a proud smile as he took off down the pavement again.

It was still dark out when Josh awakened from his dream. Jenna was fast asleep beside him, but he couldn't go back to sleep. He slipped out of bed silently before leaving the room. He tiptoed down the hall, stopping outside of Papa's room. His nails dug into his arm as he stood outside, debating whether or not it was safe to go in.