Fleurs Captives (Joshler)

47. Jasmine

Jasmine:
meaning- unconditional and eternal love

***Trigger warnings for a panic attack, PTSD, prolonged trauma, needles/IVs, brief suicidal thoughts, and mentions of past child abuse.***

Wait to start the song.

Josh awoke with a start, gasping as he shot straight up in bed. The room was dark, but he didn't panic when strong hands eased him back down onto the mattress, and a deep voice whispered soothingly to him.

"Shhh, I've got you. You're safe. Everyone's safe. You can sleep," the soothing voice murmured as those same strong hands soothed through Josh's hair and along his shoulder and arm.

Josh's eyelids were so heavy that he could barely keep them open as he blinked sleepily at the man in front of him. "Dad?" Josh slurred out sleepily.

"I'm here," his father reassured him. "It was just a bad dream. I won't let anything hurt you. Get some sleep."

"Momma?" Josh murmured as his eyelids slipped shut.

"She's asleep by the window. It's okay. We're both here, and we won't let anything hurt you," his father whispered to him warmly.

Yawning sleepily, Josh shifted to find his father's hand, holding it loosely in his own. He felt disoriented from the night he'd been reliving within his nightmare, so he mumbled it out to his dad. "Dad, he hit me a lot when we found out Jenna was pregnant because I wasn't excited. Made me hit her too. I tried to run away, but I didn't know where to go, so I hid for a long time under some bushes. He pulled me out and made me take a bath, and then I ran again. I hid in the basement, and I got so scared I peed my pants, and-"

"Shhhh, it's okay. You're safe now. Breathe, okay? Can you try to breathe like me?" His dad asked softly, but Josh didn't try to breathe like him.

"Daddy, I had a dream about you after," he whimpered out, making his dad fall silent. "You were teaching me how to skateboard, but I fell down and got hurt, so you hugged me and told me that that was part of learning, and I felt safer when I woke up because I knew my daddy loved me somewhere. I wanted to be where you were, but I couldn't, so I slept in Papa's bed even though he scared me, and then he made me into an acorn so I wouldn't run away or hurt myself. I wanted to die. I did. I wanted to die if I couldn't come home."

His father let out a shaky breath, pressing a lingering kiss to Josh's forehead before pressing their foreheads together softly. "The doctors say you can come home in a few days if you keep doing as good as you have been. You can come home, and you can skateboard all you want. I'll help you if you need me to, and I'll never ever hit you or hurt you or try to scare you. I know you're seventeen now, but you're still my baby. You'll always be the little boy who made me a dad, and I'm always going to love you just as much as I did the first time I met you. Okay? And if you ever need to come sleep between your momma and me to help you feel safe, that's okay. I will do anything and everything you need me to do if it means you feel safe."

Josh sniffled, his limbs heavy as his father continued to soothe his fingers through Josh's hair with the hand Josh didn't have a hold on. "I'm always going to want you to be my dad," Josh whispered drowsily. "Sometimes I feel confused because it feels like I'm supposed to love Papa, but I love you so much. I know you're my real dad. I can feel it. I never loved Papa as much as I love you, and I never felt as safe with him as I do with you. You know that, right?"

His father's breathing was still stunted as he held back tears. "Why don't you try to get some sleep? I'll protect you, and I'll be right here when you wake up again."