Fleurs Captives (Joshler)

64. Peach Blossom

Peach Blossom:
meaning- I am your captive

***Trigger warnings for PTSD, flashbacks, and mentions of past abuse.***

Start the song. It's Weeds by Joshua James.

Josh was shaking the first time he went home after things had ended with Jon. Although Jon wasn't around anymore to tell him he couldn't go see his family, he'd been too afraid to visit them for a month and a half. Tyler had been really supportive though, and he'd built Josh's confidence up enough that he found himself parking his car outside of the red brick house that had become a haven to him after two years of brutal torture. Just looking at it after another four months of abuse made Josh's eyes fill with tears.

He left everything in his car when he walked across the snowy lawn and up the front steps. Some part of him was trying to prepare himself in case he was told he wasn't welcome here anymore. He stared at the door anxiously, unsure of whether he should knock or go right in. Just when Josh's courage was about to crumble, the front door opened, making his heart plummet through his stomach and onto the ground.

Before Josh could even attempt to process what was going on, Jordan was enveloping him into a tight hug. "I thought I saw your car, dude! Fuck, man. I've missed you. You ditched me with three sisters. I could've died!"

Josh smiled, wrapping his arms around his little brother and burying his face against the younger boy's shoulder. "I'm sorry. I missed you too."

"Are you okay?" Jordan asked instinctually. "I haven't seen you in forever. Is everything okay? Come here. We can talk about it in my room. You're gonna freeze to death out here."

Jordan didn't release Josh's hand until they were climbing onto his bed. Josh was shaking again, which he knew his brother noticed. He was just giving Josh the chance to address it on his own first.

"I wanted to call and come home and stuff. I wanted to really badly, but I couldn't," Josh rambled out anxiously, his voice getting just a little louder to cover up the sudden sound of Papa wheezing from another room that filled his ears. "Sometimes I almost could, and then I couldn't anymore. I'm so stupid, Jordan. I'm so fucking stupid. I don't know what's wrong with me or why it's so easy for people to just-"

"Hey, you're not stupid. Talk to me. It's okay. You can tell me anything; just don't slander my big brother in the process," Jordan interrupted carefully, scooting closer to Josh.

Josh tugged at the tunnels in his earlobes when the wheezing in his ears got louder. Jordan's watchful eyes caught the tic immediately, and a knowing expression crossed his face.

"Hey, whatever you're hearing, it isn't real. It's not really happening right now. It's just a little flashback, okay?" Jordan coaxed carefully, grabbing the fleece throw blanket at the foot of his bed and wrapping it tightly around Josh's shoulders. "It's just you and me here. It's okay. I've got you, man. You're safe."

Josh was struggling to focus though, so he just kept trying to explain. "He had stars on his ceiling and he did voices when he read books and he checked on me when I had nightmares and made them go away. It was like having Tyler back, but he wasn't Tyler. He wouldn't let me call anyone or talk to people or go anywhere without asking him first. He wouldn't let me suck my thumb, and he got annoyed when I was scared, and then he hit me and-"

"Wait. Slow down. Who wouldn't let you talk to us? Who hit you?" Jordan asked, looking vexed between furious and terrified.

Josh was shaking too hard to cry, and he could hear the wheels of Papa's oxygen tank creaking down the hall. Jordan squeaked when he was pulled off of the bed as Josh scurried off of it. He pulled Jordan under the bed with him, keeping himself closer to the door than Jordan was. He covered Jordan's mouth when Jordan tried to speak to him, and he never took his frantic eyes off of the door.