Fleurs Captives (Joshler)

65. Holly

Holly:
meaning- foresight, domestic happiness

***TriggerS warning for PTSD and mentions of past abuse.***

Start the song. It's Manos by Június Meyvant.

It was the gentle touch of a hand rubbing Josh's back that woke him up. He blinked his eyes open groggily, smiling tiredly when he saw his mom. She smiled back at him warmly, no resentment present on her beautiful face even after Josh had disappeared without a word for nearly six months. In fact, she pressed a soft kiss to his forehead, making his muscles relax even further as he smiled gratefully.

"I'm sorry I woke you up," his mom whispered softly, her words just audible over Tyler's snoring. "I just wasn't expecting to see you two here. It's such a lovely surprise."

Anxiety beaded up in Josh, making him ask, "Is it okay that I'm here?"

His mother seemed taken aback by that question. "Of course it is. This is your home. You're always welcome here, honey."

Josh nodded atop Tyler's chest. "Remember at the start of the year when I told you there was a guy I liked?" He asked tentatively, knowing full well that he wouldn't be able to get the words out without Tyler present. He hadn't been able to tell Jordan anything, and he might not be able to tell his mom without Tyler in the room with him, even if Tyler was still snoring.

"I remember," his mother replied softly.

"I dated him for four months, and it was serious, but he clouded my head. It was like living with Papa again. I didn't question any of the things he said or did, even when they really bothered me. He deleted Tyler's number from my phone, wouldn't let me call home without his permission, and made me tell him where I was at all times. Somehow he convinced me it was to protect me though, and I don't know why I didn't see through that, but I didn't until he hit me-"

Josh has never seen his mother look angry before, but she looked absolutely furious now. Shame and guilt were swelling inside of him to the point that it was physically painful, so he just stopped talking.

"Josh, honey, I need you to listen to me very closely, okay?" His mother said softly, touching his cheek and looking him in the eye as he nodded. "This is not your fault. You aren't responsible for how he treated you. You didn't deserve to be treated that way. It isn't your fault that you thought you could trust him. No matter what, I still love you more than anything in the whole world. I'm not mad at you. I'm not disappointed in you. I'm not ashamed of you. In fact, I'm so proud of you for being here on our couch right now because that tells me that you got out of that relationship somehow."

Immense loads of pressure were being lifted off of Josh's shoulders as he listened to his mom. That was everything he'd needed to hear. She was always great at finding the words like that though. She always knew exactly what he needed her to say to make him feel safe.

"After he hit me, I went downstairs and found Tyler because it was during a party," Josh explained to his mom shakily. "I asked Ty to get me out of there because I knew he would. He hadn't even talked to me in four months, and he still took me home and let me sleep at his house where he could protect me, and I've been there for almost two months. Brad beat the shit out of Jon when I told him though. He punched him so many times that he broke his hand on Jon's face. It made me have a flashback, so Tyler got me out of there again. He's good at that. He's always been good at making me safe."

"And Jon is the one who hurt you?" His mom verified quietly.

Josh nodded. "Yeah. I haven't seen him since Brad beat him up. We never officially broke up or anything, but I think it should be pretty obvious to him that we aren't together anymore."