Fleurs Captives (Joshler)

32. Anemone

Anemone:
meaning- sickness, forsaken, anticipation, undying love

***Trigger warnings for vomit. There are no descriptions of the vomit, but there are a lot of mentions of vomit and vomiting.***

Start the song. It's Anchor by Mindy Gledhill.

Josh didn't tell anyone about having met his brother when he got back to the new house. He just helped Papa unload the groceries, hugged him before he left for the hospital, and trudged upstairs to his room.

Tyler had taken at least a full shelf of books from their new library, spreading them across the bed as he read a field guide about wildflowers disinterestedly. He smiled when he saw Josh, but Josh didn't smile back, simply climbing up onto the bed and pulling Tyler's borrowed shirt up before tucking himself away inside of it, resting his head on Tyler's bound chest and closing his eyes.

Tyler chuckled, wrapping his arms around Josh and rubbing his back. "Hey there, little squirrel. That's not your burrow," Tyler said amusedly, making Josh smile slightly.

The smile disappeared rather quickly though as his anxiety caught up to him once more. "Ty, Jenna might lose the baby. Then we'll have to start over. Papa said he'll give her a month to heal, and then I have to get her pregnant again," Josh whispered against Tyler's binder.

Tyler was quiet for a moment, his hand rubbing Josh's back protectively. "She hasn't lost the baby yet though, right? Maybe she won't. Maybe the baby will be okay."

Josh squeezed his eyes shut, holding tightly to Tyler's hips as he drew in a shaky breath. "I hate this baby, Tyler."

His boyfriend sighed. "Hey, come out where I can see you," he coaxed. "I'll keep you safe out here. It's okay. Come talk to me where I can see you."

Josh slipped out of Tyler's shirt, lying down beside him and allowing himself to be wrapped up in Tyler's arms. A comforting kiss was pressed to his forehead, and his eyelids slipped shut as he felt tears start to slip down his bruised cheeks.

"It's okay that you don't want the baby you're being forced to have. That's valid. It's okay to feel that. You can't wish for it to die though. Whether you want to be or not, you're this baby's dad, and it needs you to have some faith for it right now, okay?" Tyler told Josh softly.

Josh stared at Tyler for a moment. "I don't think I can do that," he admitted finally. "I think I'm only capable of hating the baby or feeling numb to it."

His boyfriend sighed, rubbing his back and not commenting. He sat up before helping Josh to do the same. Josh allowed Tyler's to pull his sweatshirt over his head for him before doing the same with his shirt. He watched tiredly and shifted to help when Tyler slid his jeans off.

Tyler bundled Josh's clothes up into a ball and climbed off of the bed, dumping the clothes into the hamper before grabbing some pajamas for Josh. He was gentle as he helped Josh into the somewhat childish pajamas Papa had chosen for him when he'd first gotten here. There was comfort in the innocence of the clothes.

He watched Tyler change into far less childish pajamas, leaving his binder on the floor as he helped Josh off of the bed and led him out of the room.

They made pancakes for dinner while the little girls put their pajamas on too. They let the girls eat as many pancakes as they wanted, and Josh and never seen Debby have this much energy. She and Maddy ran around the house for at least two hours, playing games and laughing excitedly.