Fleurs Captives (Joshler)

48. Delphinium

Delphinium:
meaning- levity, big-hearted, fun, ardent attachment, joy

***Trigger warnings for anxiety and mentions of smut.***

Start the song. It's When the Party's Over by Billie Eilish.

Josh had no idea what time it was when Tyler nudged him awake. He was still tucked away inside of Tyler's shirt, groggy from the sedatives swimming in his bloodstream. It took a great deal of effort for him to climb out of Tyler's shirt and lay his head down on the pillow beside Tyler's.

"'s wrong?" He mumbled tiredly.

"I have to pee," Tyler told him.

Josh huffed, but shifted so his body wasn't pressing Tyler into the mattress anymore. "Sorry," he murmured out before closing his eyes again.

His boyfriend didn't move though. "Josh?"

"Mm?" Josh hummed.

"I feel really anxious about leaving you in here while I go to the bathroom," Tyler whispered to him.

"Mm. 'm okay. Sleepin'," Josh assured Tyler.

Still, Tyler didn't move. He drew in a shaky breath before telling Josh, "Josh, I really need you to come with me." His voice trembled like he was struggling not to cry.

Josh forced his eyes open again, finding that Tyler already had tears on his cheeks, and he looked like he'd been crying for a while. Josh brushed them off of Tyler's cheeks immediately despite the heaviness of his arm, looking worriedly at the smaller boy.

"Nightmare?" Josh asked instantly.

More tears poured down Tyler's cheeks as he shook his head. "Can't sleep. I have this horrible feeling that won't go away, and I feel so scared. I was afraid you were going to stop breathing or that Papa was going to come take you from me or that I'd wake up and you'd be gone or.... Josh, I'm scared to leave you here while I go to the bathroom because I'm afraid you won't be here when I come back."

Josh shook his head, pressing his lips to Tyler's in a firm, lingering kiss before lying back down beside him. "'m not goin' anywhere, Ty. C'mon."

Tyler was shaking as he let Josh help him out of bed. Josh wasn't very steady either. The sedatives were still making him feel like he was on the moon, but he went with Tyler into the bathroom anyways. He sat on the floor with his head resting against the tile wall and his eyes closed while Tyler peed. He held Tyler's hand the whole time, making sure he knew that Josh wasn't going anywhere.

He remained on the bathroom floor while Tyler washed his hands. When Tyler was done, he sat on the floor next to Josh. He was still shaking, so Josh let him hold his hand again.

"I feel so paranoid right now," Tyler told Josh quietly, struggling not to start crying again. "I feel like I can't trust anyone to be around you right now because I don't know how to protect you from them. I feel so weak and scared, but I need you to be safe. I don't know what to do."

"Um," Josh mumbled sleepily, struggling to think of a solution with how slow his brain was functioning at the moment. "Dunno, Ty. 'm pretty safe right now. Sleepy though. Sleepy 'n safe. Safe 'n sleepy."

Another little whimper escaped Tyler's lips. "You were scared of me before. I couldn't help you. I tried, but it scared you when I touched you."

"Needed a dad," Josh tried to explain. "Still love you. Never scared of my Ty. Safe with you. M'baby."