"Come on tour with you?" I repeated.
"How long is it?" I asked.
"A year but it can be longer" he said.
"A year?! I can't!" I said.
"I know it's a lot to ask! But I want to experience it with you!" Shawn said. "I can't" I said looking down.
"Why? What's wrong?" He asked.
Should I tell him?
"It's depression" I said.
"Depression, it's like it's always gonna be there, so it's gonna be in my head, like I can take pills for that but it's always gonna be there and that's why I hate it so much because it's so god damn unpredictable like I can be completely fine now and then like wake up the next day or like literally seconds later something triggers me and I will freak out! And I may not show it but I've been struggling and I've been struggling bad! I may not say or act it but it's there! I hate myself for it!" I say crying.
"I know how dead you feel inside and I can see how worthless you feel, I know that when you brush your hair or brush your teeth you don't look in the mirror because you hate what you see" Shawn said.
"I'm done! I'm done with everything!" I said. "I've had enough and I'm scared because of how I feel" I said.
"You wanna know what I'm scared of? I'm scared of fucking everything! I'm scared to move to go on Magcon or hope that I can go on this tour and make something out of it" Shawn said.
"But that's the thing you have a life ahead of you! I don't! I feel like there's nothing I can do about it! You know if I'm not hurting myself I'm hurting everyone around me and there's nothing I can do about it! But cry! Because I feel broken inside! I don't know how you love me" I said crying in his arms and he cried too. We both sat there and cried. "I love you" Shawn said. I looked up at him. "I... I love you too" I said. "And I'll go with you, maybe I need a break" I said.
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Ahhh sorry about any confusion my wattpad has been acting super strange but I've fixed it now! Anyway have you heard Charlie Puths new song??? 😍😍😍😍
