A Killer Loves Me

Chapter Thirty-Six

After a lot of persuasion I sit in a chair that's part of a circle set up in the middle of the room. Everyone else takes a seat and looks at me.

"Hello Abigail. My name is Peter King. I'm here to help you see how your friends are affected by your actions. First I'm gonna have them read off what they have written about how your actions make them feel. Coby you may start." Peter says.

"Abbi, I know we don't get along all the time but I think of you as my sister. I'd do anything to keep you safe. You harming yourself tears me up inside and makes me feel like my efforts are in vain. All I want from is for you to see that your actions are hurting us even more than they hurt you. I just want you to get better and be happy." When Coby finishes there are tears streaked down his face.

"Now I'd like Meredith to go." Peter says.

"Abbi, I don't really know what to say. We've been bestfriends since middle school and you're like my sister. Every time I learn that you cut yourself I feel like you have harmed me and not you. All I want is for you to be happy and be the girl that I met 5 years ago. I want you to be the girl I'm bestfriends with." Meredith says as she cries.

"Now Seth will go." Peter says.

"Abbi, I'm not as close to you as everyone else is. I've only know you for about a year and a half, but in that time I have grown rather fond of you. I've gotten used to seeing your bright cheerful face everyday. And I miss that face. It was a vital part of my day, it assured me that everything was ok. But now that the brightness has burned out and your smile has disappeared, I fear that everything will disappear just like the cheerful girl you once were. As your friend I ask you this one thing, please get better so that we can all be cheerful again. I want you to get better because I miss my old friend, she was the nicest person I knew." Seth says as he chokes back his tears.

"Now I will ask Haley to go." Peter says.

"Abbi, you have always been the person that's been there for me when I was sad. You were always the strong one. For me to see you as the broken one I get scared, what will happen to me? And I feel horrible inside because I can't be the person there to help you. I can't make anything better, I can't take away your nightmares. I wish that I could take your pain away, I wish that I could have my best friend back. Will you please bring her back to me?" Haley says as she starts to sob, so she leans into Meredith's shoulder.

"Will Jace please go now?" Peter asks.

"Abbi, I'm one of the people you've known the longest here. I still remember the day we met, you were outside spinning in a circle in the snow. I was confused so I walked up to you. You told me you were getting the feel of snow all over you because it was the best thing you'd ever felt. That was when I realized you weren't like a lot of the people I knew, you actually liked to take in your surroundings and make memories. That was when I knew I wanted to get to know you better and be friends with you. But now that you have turned to such a horrible thing and chosen it as a way of running from your problems I'm worried. I'm starting to think that the girl I met out in the snow is completely gone. And I'm afraid I'll never see her again." Jace says as he starts to cry along with the others.

"Steven would you mind going next?" Peter asks.

"Ok. Abbi, me and you just got closer recently, and I am so thrilled about that. You're the funniest and happiest person I've ever met. When I'm around you my mood instantly gets better. But these last couple weeks I've been worried, I've been scared that the girl I got to know a few months ago left me. I'm afraid that she cracked under the pressure and that she's not as strong as I thought she was. And if your will wasn't strong enough to last, then I wonder how long everyone else's will. Abbi all I'm asking of you is please just fight to stop this, fight for the girl you once were. Because we all miss her like crazy." Steven say as he holds back his tears.

"Ok all of you have said a lot of key things, but I saved the two people closest to her for last. I'd like Pat to go now." Peter says.

"Abbi, I have so many things to say that I can't find which to choose. I have know you for 3 years and ever since the first time I saw you I loved you. You were the most beautiful person I had ever seen, and I knew from that second that I would dream about you every night. I knew that you were the girl I was gonna fall for. Ever aspect of you drew me in and I was a hooked the first time we talked. These past 3 years have been the best of my life. I have been with the girl I love and I couldn't have been happier. But one day everything went wrong. These murders started and you grew distant. You shut me out and broke my heart, then you broke it over and over again with every cut you made. Every day you spent alone I spent crying. I want you to get better and to be happy again. I want you to be the girl I fell in love with." Pat says, then he covers his face and sobs into his hands.

"I saved the person for last, who I thought Abbi would value the opinion of most. Scarlett will you please go." Peter says.

"Abbi, I have no idea what to say really. You know how I feel and I know how you feel. I know that you only cause yourself pain so that you can block out the pain you feel inside. But I also know that you are fully aware of the fact that in order to get over something you must endure it. I'm not gonna go into some big speech about how you're hurting me, because that would take forever to explain, and I'm not gonna ask all these things from you. The only thing I will ask of you is when you go to cut yourself, think of who you'll be hurting and realize the fact that it's not yourself but me you're hurting. When you go to cut imagine it being my arm instead, would you still do it? I didn't think so." Scarlett says, she manages to keep her emotions hidden the whole time.

"Now that you have all talked I would like to make some suggestions for Abigail. I think that you should go through therapy and go to group help meetings with others who have cut." Peter says.

I stare at him for a little while before I let my feelings cover my face. First fear covers it, then sadness, but the feeling that comes last and is the strongest is anger. I stand up out of my chair and get in Peter's face.

"Why would I do anything you suggest?! You're just a guy who thinks he knows what I'm going through! Well guess what?! You have no fucking idea what I'm going through! And all of you act like I'm doing drugs, you act like I'm fucking killing myself! I'm just trying to find a way to cope with my pain, and as soon as I find it you guys decide to take it away! Why can't you just let me live my life how I wanna live it?!" I yell.

I collapse to the ground and start sobbing. I feel someone's presence behind me, then I'm picked up and set in someone's lap. I look up and see Pat's face.

"Abbi, we are doing this because we care about you and don't want you to hurt yourself." Pat says as he rubs my back and I burrow my head in his shoulder. For some reason his scent always calms me down and I feel less angry now.

"Do you guys seriously think doing this stuff will help me?" I ask quietly. "Yes." They all answer. "The only way I will do it is if I'm not alone." I say. "You're never alone." Pat says.

I stare up at him into his eyes, which instantly make me unable to refuse him. "You have to be the one to go with me. You or Scarlett." I whisper to him. "I would love to go." He tells me.

After a couple of minutes in silence everyone gets up and we head outside. All the way to my house I stay buried in Pat's side. We drop off Steven first then go to my house. When I'm getting out I look back at Pat with pleading eyes.

"Can you stay with me? I don't wanna be alone right now." I tell him. "Of course I will." He says. He gets out of the car and we head up to my house after saying goodbye to Scarlett and Seth. We go in and sit on the couch.

"You wanna watch a movie?" I ask since it's only 5. "Yeah." He says. I put in The Sitter and snuggle up to Pat on the couch.

As I laugh throughout the movie I feel my worries go away for this brief moment.