The Boys and Me

55. Fierce.

ALLIE:

"I think you should go home" Scott said to me. I laughed.

"I don't think that's a great idea" I said, arms still folded as I sat on the bonnet of my car.

I had no idea how he found me here, nor did I want to know. I was too angry to give a shit.

"And why not?" He asked and I shrugged.

"I don't want anyone to fuss over me" I said and he sighed.

"Holt, you just got into a fist fight with Todd fucking Smith, you seriously think people aren't going to fucking fuss?" He asked and I shrugged.

"Todd Fucking Smith just got his ass kicked by a scrawny nerd, I'd be more worried for him if I were you. Or anybody else for that matter." I said and he sighed yet again.

"I'm not exactly happy with him at the moment" He muttered and I shrugged.

"Neither am I, funnily enough. The difference between the two of us is that you won't kill him next time you see him. I will" I spat.

"See I don't believe you" Scott said as I jumped off my bonnet and walked over to him.

"Oh you don't, do you? You might be above hitting him but I'm certainly not above hitting him, or anyone else in this group. He pissed me off today Scott" I said.

"And you still got him out of trouble with Butler" He said and I let my facade slip.

"Why?" He asked.

"What do you mean?" I muttered.

"Why did you protect him? You're not vengeful enough to want to hurt him again, you and I both know you only hit him out of self-defense. So why not let him have it?" He asked.

"Because he wouldn't have gotten punished, I would" I said, not looking at him, lying through my teeth.

"What makes you think that?" He asked.

"I was loyal to him, yeah. You think, even for a split second, he would have done the same to me? No. I was in the shit if I didn't fucking free us both" I lied.

This was not going to go down well with Scott Sire, my lying and shit. Not at all.

"So you didn't do it out of your own humanity then, you did it to save yourself. I fucking thought you were different Holt" He said, turning away.

"I never said that! You're twisting my fucking words" I said and he laughed

"You just said, and I quote, 'I was in the shit if I didn't free us both'" He said with a disgusted look on his face.

"Look, it wasn't just because of that but I can't tell you-" I began

"You can't tell me what Holt? What is it, huh? You got a crush on him? You fucking him behind Heath's back?" He asked.

"Look, I just want to protect the only damn secret I seem to be able to keep from you" I said.

"Now you're keeping shit from me? Real fucking mature Holt." He said with a laugh.

"Would you listen?" I asked and he shook his head,

"No, you listen. You came along and fucked absolutely everything up for all of us. Zane's depressed, Todd's fighting girls. Heath's too fucking blind by his 'love for you' to see how much of a bitch you really are" He spat, hitting something in me that made me snap.

"Oh for fucks sake, would you listen to me? For once? Yeah, I got us out of it to protect myself but to protect him too. I would have been expelled or suspended for sure. But he would have been kicked out of home, and for him I knew that would be worse. I know what it's like to lose everything, especially in the family sense Scott and I wouldn't wish that on another human being, even Smith. But sure, go ahead. Blame me for everything. Assume that I only think about myself. I couldn't tell you because you don't need to know every damn thing, despite what you think. You win Scotty, you fucking win. I don't want to play your game anymore. I'm out." I said, climbing into my car and driving away.