The Boys and Me

104. Well.

When I walked back into Scott's room, he sat there looking at his phone. He was now wearing sweatpants but no shirt and I found my breath hitching in my throat. But I shook it off before he looked at me, thankfully.

"Sorry it was either no shirt or no pants and I guessed which you'd prefer" He said and I shrugged.

"Heath sleeps in just his underwear, I'm kinda used to it" I said and Scott shrugged.

"I'm not him though" He said, sounding a little defeated.

"Yeah? Maybe not but you were my friend tonight while he left to go fight and do stupid shit so I'm not mad at you like I am at him. I wouldn't want to be him" I said and Scott smiled softly. I had only witnessed Scott smile like that a handfull of times so it still intrigued me.

"It's late and you'll have to go home and grab your school shit early tomorrow" Scott said and I shrugged.

"I mean, I have spare clothes in my car and don't need anything desperately from home. All of my homework isn't due until Thursday" I commented and Scott shrugged back in response.

"We should still get some sleep" He said. He seemed the slightest bit uncomfortable and I think we both knew why. I mean last time we had done this I wasn't even in the boys and it wasn't a thought out decision. It was a last minute and rather desperate choice and neither of us got along.

This time I knew Scott liked me and I was pretty sure we were good friends but I had also been with Heath for six months and the boys and I had been through a lot more shit since the last time. So tonight there was so much more reason for me not to be here but also so little reason for me to want to be anywhere else.

"This is confusing" I whispered as I climbed under the blankets.

"What's confusing?" Scott asked.

"Why would he go? Why would he do the one thing he knew I'd hate him for? And why did he lie to me?" I asked as Scott let out a long sigh.

"I have no clue why, but believe me I'm just as pissed as you" He said, I turned to glare at him and he chuckled a little.

"Okay maybe not just as pissed. But I'm mad at him for sure." He said and I sighed, relaxing.

"I just want everything to be over. For it to be summer and to know that I never have to go back to that hell hole again" I whispered.

"You and me both Holt, you and me both" He muttered. We lay in silence for a while with the light still on. I turned to look at him only to find he was already on his side and looking at me.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked and I shrugged.

"What's Heath going to do when he gets home and I'm not there? He'll know I know something. And his mom might tell him I'm here" I said and he sighed.

"If he shows up, I'll personally kick his ass" He said and I bit back a laugh.

"I'm serious Scott. Do I have this fight with him?" I asked.

"I think we all know what's going to happen. You claim not to be like me but you're dying to rip into him right now" He said.

"No, I'm dying to know what he was thinking" I corrected.

"And you think you're going to be able to find that out calmly?" He retorted and I shrugged.

"Fair call" I said and he smiled.

"Can I ask you something?" He asked.

"Sure, can't say I'll answer though" I said with a shrug as he rolled his eyes.