The Boys and Me

102. Old Habits Die Hard

HEATH:

to: Hussar
from: Unkown

'You coming or what Hussar? Not a pussy, are ya?'

I held my breath as I read the text.

I wish I could say I wasn't considering it just because they called me a pussy. But that would be lying and I'm trying to stop that.

I'm also trying to stop being an idiot and getting myself into stupid situations but hey, here I go again and beggars can't be choosers and all that shit.

I've never been smart, lets be real. Look at what part I've played in Allie's life. I've completely fucked everything up at least twice. No, Scotty and the others haven't helped the situation but I'm definitely to blame the most. Although maybe that was also Scotty, the beginning is kind of hazy.

Either way, I'm stupid and what I was going to do tonight was no exception to the rule.

I think what's sad is even after all the time I've known Al, that I've been dating her, I still never thought not going was an option and never even considered what might happen if I didn't show my face tonight.

Well I mean, I considered the thought of it but never actually staying home. From the minute I knew what was happening, I made up my mind to be there which I knew would disappoint Alissa but it was also disappointing myself as I knew better but ignored myself. I silently got ready, wanting to sneak out and not draw too much attention to myself leaving. The last thing I wanted was for Al to know where I was going or what I was doing.

But of course, I backed out of my room and into someone.

"Shit!" I whispered, getting scared.

"Heath?" My mom's voice came as I sighed in relief. I could lie to her easier than I could to Al, I had been doing so for the last twelve years.

"I was just about to head out" I said, quietly.

"And where are you going at eight o'clock on a school night?" She asked.

"Big english project in pairs, we need to work on it and his parents won't let him leave the house." I lied and my mom sighed with a nod.

"You'd better not be lying to me boy, or there will be hell to pay." My mom warned and I nodded.

"Yes Ma'am. I'll be home late, see you in the morning" I said, kissing her cheek and walking out the door. I groaned to myself as I got in my truck, knowing my mom would go talk to Allie. I guess I'll take no news as good news and pray my phone doesn't ring tonight. In saying that, I can't think of any reason I've given my mom to trust my word alone in my life so Al would most likely find out what's happening. Or at least that I'm gone.

Okay hussar, push it all out of your mind. You know you can't work when you're distracted.

I turned my truck on and began to drive to the other side of town.

Tonight would not end well.

ALISSA:

"What is he doing?" I demanded as soon as I walked into Scott's house.

"I have no idea" Scott said as I turned to look at him.

"You need to tell me everything that happened between last night and now. And I'm not asking" I said and he shook his head.

"I can't. I'm not getting you involved" He said.