The Ultimate Sin (BWWM)

23. Can't Have Everything

I blew out a breath as I hoped out of my car. I dreaded this day for three years. I walked towards the building which read Palms Rehabilitation for Women. Gran told me where to find her. She revealed that she had been in contact with her since last year and she's in-fact the reason why she's in rehab.

I called the day before yesterday and made an appointment to visit her. After checking in, I sat and waited. I looked around, taking in the place. The waiting room was pretty quiet other than the sound of the receptionist typing every now and then. The walls were a pretty pastel yellow that paired well the cream couches. I could tell Gran put a lot of thought into choosing this place.

The ticking sound of the clock against the wall drew me in. I felt my hands shaking it my lap. I knew this shake. It was the same shake I had when he would come into my room at night. 'I tried to tell her but she wouldn't listen' I kept repeating in my head. The voice was loud.

I tried to tell her but she wouldn't listen!
I tried to tell her but she wouldn't listen!
I tried to tell her but she wouldn't listen!
I tried to tell her but she wouldn't listen!
I tried to tell her but she wouldn't listen!

"Ms.Johnson? Ms.Johnson?" the receptionist called, breaking me from my thoughts.

"I'm sorry, yes?"

"She's ready" she said, smiling. She seemed very optimistic about my mother having a visitor. 'If only she knew' I thought to myself.

Emerald wasn't the only one going through it. David had been purposely ignoring the love of his life. He didn't understand her. She told him she missed him and that she was still in love so why would she get engaged to that clown Antonio?

A part of him figured she would move on but not lile this. Marriage? Then when he saw her again, they made love. He thought that sealed the deal. Especially when she told him that her fiancé wasn't hitting it right. Then upon finding the bag filled with something to further separate them he felt crushed.

A part of him knew all of this was selfish. He didn't choose upfront when he was married to Ashlyn so why should she have to? The only reason why he left her was because the baby wasn't his.

Maybe this was payback, he thought.

He shook the thought from his head. Emerald wasn't like that. She wouldn't purposely try to hurt him but he couldn't say the same. Why was he ignoring her and making her feel even more guilty than she already felt? With that last thought, David thought he'd give her a visit.

The walk to her mother's room felt endless. She thought of what she would say to her. All these years she was sure of how she felt for her mother so why was she in question of her feelings now?

"Here she is Ms. Donna, your daughter. Remember I told you she was going to visit you"

My mother turned to me and for the first time since I was a little girl, I recognized her. Tears immediately formed in my eyes as she got up and walked over to me. She embraced me and I cried into her arms. I felt it. That same feeling I felt when I was a little girl and she would tuck me in, or comfort me when I'd hurt myself from playing outside. It her, it was my mother.

"I'll leave you two" I heard the receptionist say followed by the sound of the door closing. I pulled away from my mom and looked at her.

"I'm so sorry baby" was the first thing she said. That alone made me feel some of weight lifting from my shoulders. I nodded my head. Gran was right. I had to forgive her, I had to. Not for her sake but mines.

She walked me over to bed which was neatly made. We sat down and she took my hand into hers. She wiped my tears, pulling me a little closer. "Thank you for coming to visit me. I know that you've resented me for all these years and I'm glad you would put all of that aside to come see me" she said.

I nodded my head, not knowing what to say. I looked around, taking in everything. On the walls were pictures of her, Gran, and me. Recent pictures at that.

"Gran said that I should come visit you. At first I didn't want to because you were right, I resented you. I never noticed how much I needed you until I didn't have you anymore"

This time, she started to cry. Before the drugs, my mother was a good one. She raised me on her own, the best way she good by herself. I'm still not sure what made her turn to drugs, so I decided to ask.

"Why'd you start doing drugs? I thought we were good. It seemed like it as a child"

She sat, in thought for a minute.

"That I fully don't know ladybug. When your father left, I tried my best to hold it together for the both of us. You were just a baby when he left me alone. He was the love of my life and he left me. I didn't know how to cope. I started hanging around different people and no good men, and I started doing things that weren't pleasing. I'm still ashamed that it took this long and that I had to put you through it. I'm so sorry baby"

I pulled her in for a hug this time. "I forgive you" I said and that was enough to remove those dark clouds from over my head. It was sunshine this time.

David arrived at Emerald's house faster than he thought he would. He didn't see her car in the drive way but he thought that maybe she parked in the garage.

He rang the doorbell, waiting for her to answer. He smiled hearing the door unlocked. 'I missed my baby' he thought. His smile immediately disappeared when he saw Antonio. Antonio looked confused then realization passed over him.

"David what the fuck you doing at my house?!"

David answered his question with one himself. "Where's Emerald?"

"Why you asking about my fiancé?"

"Wasn't your fiancé the other day" David said and smirked. Antonio snapped. He swung and socked David in the mouth. David took off his jacket, tackling Antonio.

Emerald had a great visit with her mother. She found out it was a ten-month program and that had mother had been there already for seven. She rode home listening to Kirk Franklin. God had truly been trying to work on her, he just wanted her to let Him.

She mended one wound and now she was working to mend the next. Emerald got the surprise of her life when she saw Antonio's car in the driveway. He was home?

She got out, walking to the door. She got the second surprise of her life when she saw what was going on. David and Antonio were rolling around her living room, fighting.

"Stop! What the hell is wrong with you two?!"

They didn't listen. She moved closer, trying to break them up. They were going to kill each other, she thought.

"David! Ant! Stop!" she yelled trying to pull Ant off of David. She pulled Ant and David got up, trying to further attack him. David got another hit in and Antonio pushed Emerald, not thinking about who she was.

Emerald went flying into wall, hitting her head. They almost continued to fight until they saw her, unconscious on the ground.

"Oh my god, call 911!" David yelled, running to her side. Antonio ran to the phone dialing 911 while David checked for a pulse and tried to wake her.

"We need a paramedic, my wife hit her head and unconscious"

"I'm so sorry baby" David whispered to her.