The ups and downs

Time doesnt heal the past

*pov of Daisy*
It's been two weeks since I've agreed to join the lads on tour. It has had ups and downs, all of them are very kind to me. I just, well I don't know, I feel like I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere.

I've been making t shirt designs left and right and even made a cute pair of sweatpants, y'know change it up a bit. So far all of my designs the guys have approved of and some of them are even being sold on tour!

"Hey little Picasso. How's everything going?" I looked up to see Oliver with two coffees, one for me, "nothing really, thanks for the coffee. How's the touring life you you?" He smiles,"I love it. It's my favorite thing. Getting the crowd going is just amazing."

"What do you think of this? I was thinking it could go on like a sweatshirt. This is the back then the front could look like this." I showed him the drawings," ah you never cease to amaze me, I knew you were special." I smiled," thanks Oli, so what's the plan for you today? Do you have a show?"

"For one we have a day off. The lads and I were going to hit up this little fair that's in town." I look up at him," sounds like fun! Don't hurt yourselves your fans would be pissed." We both laughed. "Yeah, do you want to come? You seem lonely." He gave me a small frown. I shook my head," I wouldn't want to impose on you and the guys, I'll be fine. I will probably go on a run on a trail perhaps."

He rolled his eyes," you will not be imposing. You'd make it that muck better love, I'm making you go. " I shrugged, maybe it would be fun. "Okay but if i get annoying tell me and I'll leave you alone." Oliver waved me off and walked away.

We pulled up to the fair and I felt a childlike joy arise in me. I decided to wear a cute dress that had a white flowery pattern on it, the background was just black. I put on a pair of white converse so my feet wouldn't hurt. I regretted the minute I stepped out not getting a jacket but I pushed it aside and ran for the rides.

"Come on Goldfish you gotta go on the scream tower! It looks like it would be so fun!" The tower was one of those things that brought you up high and dropped you. My definition of fun. Jordan looked at me like I was crazy," love, I'm not young anymore. That looks like I'd die on it." I frowned.

Matt N put his arm around me," oh don't worry, good ol' Nicholls is here for you. Let's go have some fun unlike these babies." We both put Ls on our foreheads with our fingers and ran in line.

The tower was a blast, but Nicholls nearly threw up. I guess they mine as well be old men, haha. Oliver was busy so he didn't join us until later.

"Okay guys let's go on the Ferris wheel, I'll go alone so you all don't feel lonely without the other." We all piled in line and two by two everyone got on. I was waiting for my cart when Oliver appeared.

"Would you mind if I joined you?" I shook my head," nope!" I popped the p and flashed a large smile. We soon got on and stared at the stars.

I looked over at Oliver who looked as if he was having a panic attack. "Oli? Are you okay man?" He looked at me and did a nervous giggle," fuck I'm afraid of heights, uhh shit we're stopping and rocking. We're going to die up here!" I laughed but felt bad after. "Oh Oli, it's okay I'm here. I'll protect you." I placed my hand on top of his and gave it a squeeze then removed it.

The ride had broken so we were stuck up there for a while. "Fuck Daisy I'm having a panic attack. How the fuck haven't they fixed this shit yet?" "I don't know. I'm sorry Oli, I now panic attacks suck. But I can promise you nothing bad will happen." Then the carriage started to rock. He looked at me," liar! Fuck!" I laughed a bit, the timing was ironic.

We were up there for a solid ten minutes when Oliver started to calm down. "Okay I'm okay now. That's a lie but I'm trying to convince myself." He nodded," is there anything I can do to make you less, well, panicky?" "Can I hold your hand?" I nodded and we held hands and waited for the ride to continue.

Soon ten became twenty. "Geez it's fucking cold, they need to fix this." I was shivering profusely. "Here, take my sweatshirt, I'm kinda hot anyway." "I-I'm. F-f-fine Oli thanks-s t-tho." I smiled as my teeth rattled. He scoffed," sure, just take it I'm wearing a long sleeve anyway I'll be fine." I gave in and put it on, it smelled amazing. "Tha-thank you." He smiled and put his arm around me. "Can't have my number one designer die on me. Plus that lawsuit would be a damper in my wallet."

"Ha, don't worry no one would sue you. I have no family or anything so you'd be fine. You'd just need a new designer, I've seen you doodle though. You're pretty good." I looked at me," what do you mean you have no one?" I shrugged and laid my head on his chest. "Well I was alone before the concert. Given I had friends a few months before but soon they left. Well I stopped talking since I got into some depression funk. But they didn't seem to mind my not being there. It doesn't matter though. I was going to go to school on the west coast most likely in Washington or perhaps Oregon. Anyway to escape my past that follows me. Haha. Wow sorry if I'm like a buzz kill."

He remained silent. I sat up and scooted towards the end and looked at all the people. I cried but silently. Something I've become good at, depression is a bitch. I feel like I was getting better but here it was wrapping its fingers around my throat. I looked over at Oliver, great I made him uncomfortable. I took of the sweatshirt and handed it back to him, "uh here. Look sorry for spil-" I was interrupted by him pulling me into a hug. Then he looked at me in the eyes. "I'm sorry." He shoved his lips into mine. What is happening?